Watch Out—If You Notice Any Of These Signs, You Care Way More Than He Does

In my opinion, it’s rare that a relationship is ever balanced in investment. There will always be one partner who cares more about the other, even if it’s just a slight amount. Here are all the signs you care way more than he does about how things play out between you.

  1. He waits more than 24 hours to text you back. This is a huge sign that you’re not a top priority to him. If you send a text that warrants a response and he doesn’t send an answer until the next day without acknowledging it or apologizing for taking so long, he already has one foot out of the relationship door. It’s one thing for him to be late in his reply and say sorry about it; it’s another thing to respond more than a day later without feeling bad about it. Take this one VERY seriously.
  2. He’s giving you mixed vibes. One day he’s all lovey-dovey and the next day he needs space—this is a problem. I’m not saying that he should be available to you at every possible moment, but he should want to spend time with you more often than not. If it always seems like you’re the one who’s hounding him to hang out, there’s something wrong there. His mixed signals are just a result of him not really wanting to be with you.
  3. He’s not there for you when you need him. Do you ever feel like if you needed him for something at last minute, he probably wouldn’t be there for you? No one should expect their partner to be at their beck and call every minute of every day, but for all of those little emergencies, he should at least be there for you 9 times out of 10. If he’s constantly giving you excuses as to why he can’t be there or help out, then he’s not invested in you. End of story.
  4. He brings up his ex a lot. It’s one thing to talk about the ex in the beginning phases of the relationship but if it feels like she’s coming up too often, he might still be harboring feelings for her which could be getting in the way of any feelings he could be having for you. If the majority of his ex comments are him comparing his ex to you in a way that makes you seem like the better girlfriend, there’s probably no need to worry. If he’s bringing her up in an almost nostalgic way, like he’s missing her, then it’s definitely a sign he might be still attached.
  5. He’s the one calling the shots. Do you ever feel like you’re always planning around his schedule? Is he always the one to decide whether or not you’re going out tonight? If the relationship feels off balance in this way, it might be a sign that he’s not invested enough in you to change his lifestyle around. A big part of being in a relationship is making compromises for each other and if he can’t sacrifice some of his time for you, then he clearly isn’t ready to invest in a relationship.
  6. He’s not affectionate in a loving, romantic way. When sex is on the table, he can’t seem to keep his hands off of you, but when it comes to the more tender, romantic moments, he really can’t be bothered. He wouldn’t want to give you the wrong idea by making you think he’s actually invested, right? Never.
  7. He’s NEVER brought up the future, not even once. You’ll know he’s interested if he doesn’t turn up his nose at you when you talk about a future together or maybe even talks about it himself. If he’s still getting weird about future talk after the six-month mark, you might want to start considering that he’s not in this for the long haul the same way you are.
  8. You said “I Love You” first (and he didn’t return the gesture). The most obvious sign that you’re more invested than him is if you say “I Love You” first. It takes A LOT of courage to get those three words out and whoever is willing to risk the relationship as well as their own vulnerability must be pretty damn invested in the other person.
  9. He chooses his friends over you most of the time. He definitely shouldn’t be spending all of his time with his friends, but he also shouldn’t be spending all of his time with you. Keeping this 50/50 balance in mind, ask yourself whether or not he chooses you or his friends more often. If you feel like he never seems to have time for you, then maybe it’s time to reconsider your place in his life and what this relationship really means to him.
  10. He rarely, if ever, sends a text just to say hey. If his texts only seem to consist of him letting you know when he’s at your door…maybe don’t answer it next time. The fact that he’s not sending you texts out of the blue is a sign that he’s just NOT thinking about you throughout the day. It’s sad to realize this, but so is wasting your time in a relationship with someone who doesn’t even care about you.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.