Did you manage to snag an independent woman? Impressive. These women are confident, courageous, and classy. You’re in for a treat. Before you start to celebrate, though, there are some things you should know. If she’s used to being on her own, she may still be a bit hesitant about this whole relationship thing. Here’s what you need to know as she comes to term with her newly coupled-up status.
She’s going to need a lot of alone time.
She’s used to having complete control over her own schedule, and that schedule includes at least an hour a day of trashy television time, alone. Non-negotiable.
If she says she’s busy when you ask her out, do NOT ask her what she’s doing or who she’s doing it with.
If she volunteers it, great. If she doesn’t, though, don’t push her. You’ll seem suspicious or jealous, and that’s not cool. She hasn’t had to answer to anyone in a long time, and she’s not about to start now.
You’re going to need to take the lead.
She’s cool being by herself, so if she’s got a free weekend she may not immediately reach out to you to fill it up. At least in the beginning, you may need to be the one to suggest doing something together.
If she goes off the grid for a while, be communicative but not pushy.
Sometimes she just needs a break. It’s not you. Tell her you’re thinking about her, but don’t bombard her with messages.
She may try to scare you off.
Frankly, this whole relationship thing is overwhelming. It’s new, it’s scary, and she’s worried about how you fit in with all of the other life and career goals she’s been chasing after until now. She may try to self-sabotage. Please be patient.
She might have trouble committing to any advance plans.
You might think she’s being flaky as a way to keep you interested, but really she’s just not used to having to decide in advance what she wants to do a week from now. Usually she could just cut out and cancel if she wasn’t up for it, but suddenly there are all of these expectations.
You’re going to want to get in good with her friends.
They’re her crew. They’ve been there for her through all of the ups and downs, and through all of the guys that have broken her heart. If they don’t give you a thumbs up, she’s going to take that into consideration.
You’d better have your own hobbies, interests, and friends.
She won’t respect you if you don’t.
If you don’t like her pet, it’s a dealbreaker.
You’re allergic? Too bad. Afraid of dogs? Get over it. She’s known Fido for longer than she’s known you. If it’s between you or the dog, it very well might be the dog.
She may not be comfortable with public displays of affection.
She’s been in the position of third wheel before, and she hated feeling awkwardly uncomfortable about it. She won’t want to put others in the same position.
Give her time and the two of you will undoubtedly settle into a solid routine that works for both of you. Enjoy being with Ms. Independent!
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