Are You Actually In A Healthy Relationship? 10 Ways To Tell

You’ve been in enough crappy relationships that you should be able to recognize a healthy one when you find it, but sometimes it’s not that easy. Things are going well with your new guy, but is that just the honeymoon phase talking or is this the real deal you’ve been waiting for all along? Here are 10 signs you’re finally in a healthy relationship:

  1. You’re not afraid of relationship milestones. You aren’t scared to fall in love. Maybe you used to be afraid of commitment, but not anymore. You’ve allowed yourself to be completely open up to your boyfriend and he’s done the same. You no longer have walls up and it’s because you know they don’t have to be — you’re in a healthy relationship now and you’re safe.
  2. You don’t rush things because you know the relationship has no expiration date. You can’t rush something you want to last forever, and you both know that. Your relationship has never been on someone else’s timeline and that’s why you’ve made it this far. You’re not afraid of commitment in any sense but you’re enjoying going with the flow together — it’s perfect and it makes you stronger as a couple.
  3. You don’t hide anything from your partner. You two have no secrets. He knows you lost your virginity at 18 and that you’d probably dump him if Nick Jonas ever asked for your hand in marriage, just like you know that he broke his leg jumping off the neighbor’s roof when he was a teenager and that he secretly loves chick flicks. To be honest, you two probably know a little too much about each other. That’s a good thing; it means there’s trust.
  4. You challenge each other. Do you push each other to be better? That’s a sign that you two have a strong relationship. He trusts your opinion and you trust his — that’s why you both seek it. He helped you make the decision to quit your job in order to pursue your dream. You pushed him to ask for that promotion at work, which he got. You guys are a team and that’s why it works.
  5. The relationship feels balanced. What I mean is, you don’t feel superior or inferior to him — you’re one another’s equal. You’ve never questioned whether or not he loves you as much as you love him. You know your feelings for one another are mutual. The best relationships are the ones that consist of two people on even ground coming together to be even better. Sounds kind of like yours, doesn’t it?
  6. You communicate effectively. If your boyfriend does something that upsets you, you tell him. You don’t sit on it for days or even hours. Instead of overthinking whether or not you’re overthinking, you bring up the issue immediately so you can resolve it and move on. He’s the same. You’ve mastered the art of communication and it makes your relationship better every single day.
  7. You respect each other’s friends. You might not like every single one of each other’s friends, but you respect them. He doesn’t talk crap about your bestie and you don’t forbid him from seeing so and so — because you think he parties too much. Your boyfriend is a grown man and you trust him to make his own decisions without worrying about the influence his friends might have over him.
  8. You don’t rely on him to fix you. Your boyfriend is your partner, not your therapist. Sure, you may go to him for advice, but you don’t rely on him to fix you. You know who you are and you’re happy with that. A boyfriend isn’t supposed to resolve your emotional, financial, or social issues — he’s supposed to work with you, not for you. It’s a healthy sign that you can stand alone in your relationship.
  9. Sometimes, you fight. Disagreeing is a part of life. If you agree on everything, something’s up. That doesn’t mean you guys should be bickering for hours over trivial things, like what restaurant to eat at — that’s not a good sign — but sometimes, you’ll fight. What matters is that you know how to make up with one another, and you do. You’re able to fight and then let the issue go once it’s been resolved. Very mature.
  10. You’re intimate on every possible level. Sex is an important part of any relationship, but sex isn’t strictly limited to the physical — it’s more emotional than that. Being intimate is about bonding with another person. Yes, that can happen in the bedroom, but for you and your boyfriend, it happens everywhere. You feel connected to him, even when you’re not physically touching him, right? That’s because you are in a healthy relationship.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.