No matter how old you were when you married your partner, you likely wish you had all the time in the world to devote to them. But between work, juggling a social life, trying to see your family every once in a while, and attempting some healthy habits, you’re stretched pretty thin. Even though it feels like you don’t have an extra moment in the day, you don’t want your partner to feel neglected. Here are some ways to stay connected.
1. Eat breakfast together (even if just for 10 minutes).
Even if you’ve got a packed schedule, you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You can take a few minutes at the beginning of each workday to enjoy some eggs and avocado toast or oatmeal with your spouse. This is a relaxing routine that allows you to spend a bit of quality time together, even if you’re both rushing out the door. It might be tempting to eat quickly while checking social media or answering your emails, but it’s worth taking a bit of time to talk before another lively day begins.
2. Create an after-dinner routine, like a walk or a quick chat.
When life moves quickly, you and your partner may not be home early enough for dinner Monday to Friday. Maybe you both stay late at the office, or you have work events, or you’re carving out time to see your friends regularly. That said, if you can go for a walk and chat about your days, it’ll go a long way toward ensuring you’re still bonded. Even if you only have time to talk for a few minutes before you fall into bed, that counts, too.
3. Go on double dates.
It can be tough to make time to see your friends, and it sometimes feels like you’re choosing between your marriage and friendships. Instead of feeling like there’s not enough time in the day to see all the people who matter to you, why not see your friends and partner at the same time? Scheduling double dates even twice a month can help you stay close to your spouse while still socializing.
4. Take the same PTO day every few months.
It’s not always possible to go on a relaxing vacation together. But since you still want to take advantage of your PTO and you want to see your partner more, why not agree to take one PTO day together every once in a while? You can play tourist in your own city and go to a museum, try a new restaurant, or go for a long walk in a new-to-you neighborhood. Even in the midst of busy days, you’ll smile knowing you have some quality time with your spouse coming up.
5. Work out as a couple.
Instead of choosing between jogging or taking a workout class a few times a week and hanging out with your partner, why not exercise together? Even if one of you loves working out and the other feels the opposite way, you’ll have some regular dates scheduled, which will feel great. Sure, you’ll be sweaty and focused on what you’re doing, so it won’t be the most quality time you two spend together. But still, it’ll give you a chance to be in each other’s presence.
6. Call or text each other during your lunch hour.
There are days when it feels like taking time to eat a sandwich or salad alone is impossible, but that’s where multi-tasking comes in—connect with your spouse and also eat your mid-day meal. Even if it’s a non-stop day with meetings and admin and projects that are all due at the same time, you can make a point of exchanging a few texts. This is a nice way to show you’re still thinking about each other.
7. Go on a date once a month.
A weekly date to your favorite local wine bar or a nice Saturday morning stroll through the farmer’s market would be great. When life won’t stop, that feels like a lot to ask but planning a monthly date is doable, not overwhelming. Whether a splurge at your favorite restaurant or some take-out in a park, this will be a great break from the daily grind.
8. Run errands as a pair every Saturday or Sunday afternoon.
Sometimes the best way to make your marriage a priority is to do life’s mundane tasks together. While it might not be exciting, you know you need to stock up on toilet paper and shampoo, and those groceries unfortunately aren’t going to buy themselves. If you and your partner can set aside one weekend afternoon each week to cross some items off your never-ending to-do list, you’ll spend time together while being productive.
9. Schedule a check-in on Sunday evenings.
When you and your partner are both working hard, it’s easy to feel like you’re roommates rather than married. Here’s how to stay connected: on Sunday nights talk about what the upcoming week will look like. This way, instead of feeling like you have no idea what they’re up to, you’ll be glad you know about each other’s meetings and social commitments.
10. Buy each other a small present when traveling for work or fun.
If you or your spouse travel without each other sometimes, whether for your job or with friends or family, you want to show them they’re still on your mind. You can start a fun tradition where you each buy a tiny gift. Maybe it’s a magnet from every new city you visit or a postcard—whatever you think your partner would appreciate will do. It’s mostly a trinket to let the other person know you’re thinking about them.
11. Always kiss each other goodnight (when you can).
While of course, this won’t always be possible, especially if one of you is away for work a lot, it’s a good idea to have a sweet nightly routine. Sharing a goodnight kiss will be a romantic way to end the day and give you both something to look forward to. It’s important to have small rituals because life will inevitably twist and turn and make it hard to spend as much time together as you wish you could.
12. Surprise your spouse with a fun class, new hobby, or nostalgic date.
Does your partner wish they knew more about wine? Have they always wanted to go to a trivia night at your local pub? Or have you two always said you would spend the weekend at the inn where you got married, but life got in the way? While surprises are nice on birthdays or special occasions, you don’t need a reason to do something unexpected. When you surprise your spouse with a thoughtful date, you’ll show how much they mean to you.
13. Give each other advice when making big life decisions.
Even when long romantic dinners are out of the question thanks to your schedules, you can prioritize your marriage by involving your partner in big life choices. Before deciding to take a new job or make any other big change, it’s a good idea to chat with them about it. Sure, it’s your life and you need to be happy, but they care about you and want to know what’s going on. If you can support each other through change, that goes a long way in terms of connecting.
14. Celebrate each other’s big and small accomplishments.
There are always reasons to skip celebrations because life gets in the way. But here’s the thing: not all celebrations need to be a whole to-do. Whether it’s celebrating a birthday or your partner reaching their new record at the gym, you can congratulate them in small ways. Even something as little as picking up your partner’s favorite potato chips on the way home can go a long way.
15. Take your “me time” as a couple.
You want to show your partner that you love them… but you also want to watch the latest episode of your favorite reality show, or start a new thriller book. The problem? You feel guilty for craving some self-care and feel like you’re ignoring your partner. Why not spend a few hours together but each do what you want? Your partner can browse the news online while you read, or they can listen to music with you while you bake some cookies for stress relief. Sometimes it’s nice to be together without feeling the need to talk a lot… and you’ll still feel connected.
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