Ways You’re Destroying Your Own Happiness & How To Stop

Ways You’re Destroying Your Own Happiness & How To Stop ©iStock/SanneBerg

No man on this earth can ever give you the happiness you desire — how content and fulfilled you feel in life begins and ends with you. Make a new start with a fresh outlook and put a stop to these 14 ways you’re destroying your own happiness:

  1. Stalking your ex on social media. He’s probably only posting the good parts of his life on the web, so why even look? You know that anything making him appear remotely happy is going to make you sad, so skip the self-pity, delete, then block.
  2. Playing the victim. Not everyone is out to get you, and you can’t blame everything that happens to you on someone else. You’re in control of your own life and you need to take responsibility for it. 
  3. Blaming yourself. Just like you can’t play victim, you can’t hold a grudge against yourself, either. Sure, own up to your mistakes, but then forgive yourself and move forward to a better tomorrow.
  4. Letting pride stand in your way. Are you too prideful to call the old friend you fell out of touch with years ago? If you let something as silly as pride get in the way of your relationships, you’re creating your own sense of loneliness.
  5. Being negative. It’s one thing to be realistic, it’s another thing entirely to be a constant source of negativity. Positivity attracts other people, while negativity repels them. Try looking for the positive, the silver lining, because you’ll only be happy when you can find the bright side.
  6. Playing games. Just like you hate when a guy messes with your head, men don’t appreciate it, either. Playing games will drive him away, leaving you alone, and missing what you could have had. 
  7. Taking jokes too seriously. Humility is seriously (and sadly) underrated. Not everything is meant to offend you so stop feeling persecuted at every chance you get. Lighten up and learn to laugh at yourself. Life is too short to take misery in every critical comment.
  8. Obsessing over finding “The One.” Instead of just living your life, you’re always worrying about ending up alone. Just like a watched pot never boils, constantly looking for ‘the one’ won’t help you find him any faster. Stop worrying and just live your life — he’ll come into play when he’s good and ready.
  9. Holding on to grudges. Whether or not it’s intentional, people hurt you sometimes — it happens. If keeping those who’ve wronged you in your life makes you unhappy, let them go, but don’t hold onto the anger. Find forgiveness for yourself and let the bitterness die with your friendship.
  10. Caring what other people think. Your own opinion should be the most important to you. If you’re constantly looking for approval through outlets like social media, you’ll never find acceptance. Before others can accept you, you have to first accept yourself.
  11. Not letting go of the past. Remember that super embarrassing thing you did back in middle school? Well, don’t — just let it go, it was years ago. If no one else remembers (or cares), why do you? We all make mistakes, so learn your lesson and move on with your life.
  12. Overthinking your future. It’s good to have a plan and to think about what exactly it is that you want out of life. That being said, obsessing over where you are in your life now won’t get you to the end goal any faster. Have a dream, but live the one you’re in right now.
  13. Not prioritizing your health. Do you get enough sleep? Exercise on a regular basis? Are your meals full of nutrition? Taking care of yourself is directly related to your happiness. The better you feel physically, the better you’ll feel emotionally and mentally.
  14. Letting fear stand in your way. Are you not with him just because you were afraid to commit? Did you turn down a difficult job because you were afraid to fail? Letting fear keep you down will never find you happiness, it’s the risks that make life exciting.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.