Wedding Planning Is The Ultimate Relationship Test

Congratulations — you got engaged! You might think you’ve been through it all with your future husband, but the truth is that the hardest relationship test is still ahead of you: planning your wedding. Here’s why it’s such a nightmare:

  1. The in-laws can get a bit crazy and try to take over. We’ve all heard about in-laws who basically tried to hijack the wedding planning, or about in-laws whose bad behavior could have made history books. We’ve all heard about marriages that have been either put on hold, cancelled, or annulled because of the nightmarish behavior of in-laws. If you are able to establish healthy boundaries with in-laws during your wedding planning phase, it’ll be a precedent that can lead to a much more low-stress marriage.
  2. Weddings are expensive as hell. Around 1/3 of all divorces happen as a result of financial stress, and a typical wedding costs over $25,000. How you and your to-be spouse handle the finances behind wedding planning is extremely telling. If you can both responsibly deal with all the sky-high price tags and agree on a ceremony that you can actually afford and won’t put you in debt for years, then it’s a good sign you can tackle harder times in marriage, too.
  3. He’s going to have a bachelor party. There are a slew of stories out there about men who have either cheated on their fiancee at these parties. It’s cause for concern, and many women are legitimately worried about this. Needless to say, the trust and loyalty you two show in one another will be very telling by the wedding day.
  4. One (or both) of you is going to get cold feet. Almost everyone about to get married gets cold feet. They wonder whether this is really “it.” They worry that they won’t be able to be good enough for their spouse. Sadly, some people can’t get past their hesitations, and they end up breaking up before the big day ever happens. As long as you both get over cold feet, you’ll be alright.
  5. Your friends can create even more wedding drama. Friends can be a surprisingly big stressor on a relationship, especially if your friends and his can’t stand each other. Dealing with a wedding plan means that you’re going to have to either get those guys to get along (for once), or figure out who is going to be cut from the wedding.
  6. Religious differences tend to come to a head. If you come from two opposing religious backgrounds, putting together a wedding that satisfies both families can be a Herculean task. The fact that you both love each other enough to compromise on it says volumes about the health of your relationship… as well as how you view your future family.
  7. The little details that go with wedding planning can be overwhelming. Wedding planning can be incredibly irritating, if only for the fact that you will end up having to make a million little decisions that will be questioned by just about everyone involved. At times, it’s pretty darn common to have blowout arguments over things as stupid as the venue, the color theme, or even whether or not you want to do some sort of weird unity ritual. The fact that you stay together after all of it shows that you care more about each other than you do about the stupid topiaries on your guests’ table.
  8. Don’t forget about the potential of a Bridezilla or Groomzilla wrecking things. Nothing is quite as alarming as seeing your fiance(e) blow up over a small detail of a wedding, throw tantrums like a 2-year-old, or begin talking about how the wedding is “his special day” only. With hope, neither of you will turn into a total Bride/Groomzilla. If one of you two, hopefully you both mature enough through the process to realize what’s really important.
  9. Being married is the ultimate commitment. That alone means you both passed a lot of tests in the past, right?

Featured image via Oleh_Slobodeniuk/iStock

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.