Over the past several years, I’ve witnessed plenty of my girlfriends get married. I’ve even been involved in the process and it’s truly changed the way I look at weddings entirely. I used to dream about a fairytale wedding but as an adult who’s been served a dose of hardcore reality, I no longer care to have the picture perfect Pintrest wedding. I only want a beautiful love with someone I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with.
Weddings cost so much (way too much) money. It’s amazing how much people spend these days on weddings and lavish accessories that quickly get stored in the back of the closet and in the garage after the day is done. The dress, the invites, the photo shoots… it’s all so overwhelming! While I’d love to have a nice ceremony and reception someday with the people in my life that mean the most, I’d rather spend the money on something more useful, like an epic vacation with my future husband or put the cash towards the home we dream of having someday.
Nothing can ruin my wedding day if the love I have is genuinely real. Why do so many brides put so much pressure on themselves to be perfectly stunning with the perfect stemware in front of them? Why do they freak out when the tiniest of details fall out of place? To me, once I have the kind of love that leads to marriage in the first place, nothing else matters. I could fall into the cake be eternally happy and grateful that the man standing next to me will pull me out of it and help clean me off.
I don’t care about material things or proving my status to anyone. Wearing an expensive designer wedding dress doesn’t interest me, nor does the long list of high ticket items and “necessities” that goes into making a wedding stand out. I don’t need a Pinterest-worthy wedding to validate my relationship or myself. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the love I already have, not to prove it exists.
I’m going to love my husband more than my wedding day. Exchanging vows with the man I marry is the only main part of my wedding day that I look forward to because it means I’m with someone I love enough to commit my entire life to. I think people tend to forget that weddings are the gateway to marriage and to me, that’s a pretty big deal. A one-day celebration doesn’t compare to the day in, day out effort we’re both going to make to continue building and growing our love, life and roots together. A wedding is just a small piece of the pie when it comes to everlasting love.
It’s just one day! Of course I’ll be planning a wedding celebration someday, but I’ve always thought that it’s pretty insane to spend tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars for a one-day event. How is it logical to start a marriage with a boat load of debt? No thanks.
I’d rather have a fairytale love than a fairytale wedding. Sure, I could pay for the chocolate swan fountain, the champagne ice luge and the perfect Swarovski detailed gown, but none of those things will ever top having a guy in my life who not only loves me enough to marry me but also respects me, shows me unconditional loyalty and treats me like a queen long after the celebration of a wedding has ended.
My groom is more important than my bridal perfection. Of course I want to look beautiful on my big day, but the way I look at it is that the guy I end up marrying is clearly someone who is going to love me all the way, in my perfect moments and in my grubby moments too, so realistically, that’s all that matters. I’m not going to obsess about the minor details all day or lecture my bridesmaids about the fact they’re not allowed to wear any version of a braid in their hair because it resembles what I want. The groom is the only thing that I truly want. The marriage with him is the only thing that counts. Screw the petty details.
My energy is better spent working on growing my relationship. One of my biggest fears has been becoming a Bridezilla, but thankfully, after being a maid of honor to one, I see clearly what’s truly important. I’m not going to demand things out of my bridesmaids or bark orders at everyone around me to make this pressurized one-day celebration perfect when my version of perfect is coming home to a relationship and a love that both my husband and I are committed to and work on keeping alive and amazing every single day.
The wedding doesn’t tell the story, the love does. I’m a woman who has imagined my wedding day since I was a little girl, and while I still want to wear a beautiful dress, have a happy celebration with the people closest to me and declare my forever love for that one guy who truly earns me, it’s not my main focus. Even if my wedding is extremely frugal, a Pinterest fail or a random elopement in Vegas on a whim, I won’t be at all bothered. Because my wedding isn’t about the wedding itself, it’s about the love that brings me there. The way we look at each other when we say our I do’s, even if I’m draped in a burlap sack, will be the telling story… because my marriage will be about real love and it’ll always be more beautiful than my wedding.
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