When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was devastated — I knew I’d gone through hard things before, but I really didn’t think I was going to be able to make it past this one. But instead of letting the breakup win, I put my big girl panties on and started moving on with my life. It wasn’t easy, but this is how I went from being heartbroken to not giving a f*ck:
I focused on what I actually want in a guy long-term.
He was great, but he wasn’t everything I wanted. Instead of being heartbroken thinking about all the good things about him, I started thinking about those things he didn’t have that I want in a man. It made it easier to get over him and to be excited to find a guy who’s going to be everything I want and more.
I focused on my friendships.
All the love and time and attention I invested in him, I invested in my friendships instead. Those relationships are the ones that last anyway, and my friends deserve a better friend than I was being when I was still with my ex. It’s easy to let those relationships fade a little when you get in a relationship, but I realized that one of the easiest ways to get over him was to shift a focus back to my amazing BFFs.
I focused on accomplishing my goals.
Instead of being heartbroken by him, I decided to focus on me — my goals and the things I want to accomplish in my life. They don’t have anything to do with him. I was so heartbroken because I’d given so much of who I am to him, only to have him leave me. Not anymore. I’m more independent and fearlessly chasing after my dreams.
I focused on my health.
It would have been so easy to curl up in my bed with a carton of ice cream watching romantic movies, but I didn’t. Instead, I decided to skip the hating life, junk food binging stage and start taking better care of myself. I hit the gym, started cooking healthy meals and pampered myself every now and then. I’m not going to lie — part of it was so that the next time he saw me he would see that I’m even hotter than before, but the other part was genuinely so my health wouldn’t suffer just because of a stupid breakup.
I focused on my family.
Family is so important but easily gets pushed to the side when you start building a life with another person. Because we’d started building that life together only to have it taken away, it was devastating — but it reminded me that I have a life with my family, who has always been there for me. Focusing on them helped me get past my heartbreak and accept the love and support that only a family can give.
I focused on my happiness.
When we were together I was so focused on his happiness. Everything I did or didn’t do was to make sure he was content and fulfilled. I’d lost sight of who I was and what made me happy. When he broke my heart it made me realize how much I’d given to him and lost for myself. Though it was scary at first, it gave me the ability to be a little selfish and start caring about myself more.
I focused on trying new things.
Instead of going to that same restaurant that he and I would always go to, I started to branch out. I started trying new things, meeting new people and eventually the heartache started to fade away. Was it comfortable? No. But was it worth it? Definitely.
I focused on anything but him.
Pretty much, I started thinking about and doing things that had nothing to do with him. Yes, the memory of him would try to creep in every now and then, but I wouldn’t let it stay for long. I would call up a new friend or go for a hike or do anything that I know would help me and my happiness — and ultimately, I was able to move on.
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