After messaging back and forth on Bumble for only an evening, I met up with a complete stranger for breakfast. Hours after eating an overpriced omelet, I found myself lying naked in his bed mulling over how exactly I got myself there.
- I Didn’t Go Out Intending To Have Sex That Day. I’ve never considered myself to be a spontaneous person, let alone a person who has sex on the first date. In no way do I judge people who do, I just never felt like that was me. And yes, I know a lot of people use dating apps with the sole intention of finding someone for a casual hookup, so as a precaution, I purposefully didn’t shave my legs or anything else before the date to discourage myself from even trying to go there.
- Breakfast Itself Went Well. He was polite, good at making conversation, and attractive. We talked about basic stuff like work, family, and what we did for school. I explained I had just recently gotten out of a long-term relationship and was mainly looking for fun and interesting people to go on dates with. I expressly mentioned I was enjoying being single and not looking to be anyone’s partner anytime soon. He was receptive to that and agreed he was also looking for something casual.
- We Decided To Go For A Walk Afterwards. Since I found him interesting enough and he was new in town, I offered to show him around the main spots for going out. We walked through the river district passed restaurants and shops and talked more about ourselves. It was then I mentioned I’m bisexual and he immediately asked every bi person’s least favorite question: “Have you ever had a threesome?” That was the first red flag for me. Part of me wanted to end the date right there but I was also willing to stick with it just to see what would happen.
- We Went Back To His Place To “Hang Out.” I’m still not entirely sure what made me want to go back to his place instead of just going home like the introvert I truly am. I must not have had anything better to do that day and was probably feeling a little lonely post break-up and all. So, he drove us to his newly built two-story and we said a quick hello to his roommate before heading upstairs to his room.
- I Wanted To Talk But He Put His Tongue In My Mouth. When it comes to chemistry and building a connection, I’m all about talking and sharing stories. We were laying on his bed and I was sharing something about a recent trip to visit family, but I could tell he was barely listening. Another red flag. He then interrupted me to tell me I had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen then leaned in to kiss me. While I was slightly annoyed, again I figured why not and went with it. Not my proudest moment, but I’m always a fan of making out.
- Things Started Moving Fast. He wasn’t a terrible kisser by any means, but we did have to navigate around him being shorter than me which I’m not really used to. This made for some awkward rearranging but that’s workable for me. Then he started making these high-pitched, almost girly sounding moans in the back of his throat that threw me so off-guard that I had to try not to laugh. Luckily, he didn’t notice because he was too busy trying to unhook my bra under my shirt. I quickly realized where this was going and knew I had to tell him I have herpes.
- I Had To Tell Him About My STD. Straddling someone with your cleavage in their face may not be the optimal time to tell them you have an STD, but I knew I had to spit it out before things moved forward. I took a deep breath, pushed through my anxiety, and told him I have genital herpes. I was expecting him to immediately say no and that would be the end of it, but surprisingly, he took it pretty well. He was understandably taken aback, but after asking some questions and listening to me explain how to have sex safely, he was totally fine with it and wanted to continue.
- I Was So Relieved He Was Still Interested That I Went WIth It. This was my first time telling a new sex partner about my STD. For it to go so well and have someone still want to be intimate with me was such a relief and an immediate aphrodisiac. Beforehand I didn’t really know how far I wanted things to go, but after hearing him say he didn’t mind, I was ready!
- The Sex Was Mediocre But In The Moment, I Couldn’t Care Less. Overall, the sex was quick, underwhelming, and made me realize hookups with strangers are not my cup of tea. I definitely need to have more of a connection with a person if I want the sex to be fun. But I still got something very important from that experience: I showed myself I could still have a sex life with an STD after my relationship ended.
- I Never Saw Him Again Because I Just Didn’t Want To. Two days after the date I realized I had gotten everything out of that experience that I wanted. I received a confidence boost and was feeling better about myself, so I texted him saying thanks for the date but I don’t feel like going on another one. He then booty texted me two days later saying he just wanted to bang me again and I promptly blocked him because there was no way that was happening a second time.
