You were feeling good about your relationship when your boyfriend told you completely out of the blue that he wants to take a step back for a bit. Wait, what? What does that even mean? Here’s how to figure out what he means because honestly, “I need space” can translate into a million different things depending on the guy and the situation.
He wants to end things.
This is your biggest fear when he says that he needs space and it could come true. He might be using the excuse of wanting space when he actually wants to end things. So basically, he wants a lot of space away from you. How can you tell if that’s the case? You’ll have to wait it out and see what happens – and think about whether or not he’s worth the wait.
He’s mixed up.
He might want space because he needs to figure himself and his life out. What happened to him? It’s hard to tell unless he’s telling you exactly what’s going on with him. Maybe he’s got some family issues happening at the moment or he recently changed careers and he just needs some personal time for reflection. It’s not always a bad thing.
He’s getting cold feet.
If your relationship has been getting more serious right before he says he needs space, it could be that he’s getting cold feet or second-guessing his choice to be serious with you. Either way, it’s not good. If he’s backing out now, what would he be like down the road?
He’s recovering after a fight.
If you and your boyfriend had a big fight and then he said he wanted some space, this shouldn’t necessarily alarm you. Maybe he needs to lick his wounds or process his feelings. Give him a bit of time, but it shouldn’t take longer than a few hours or days, max.
He’s going through something.
He might be going through a personal problem that causes him to pull away from you. Of course, that doesn’t feel right because he should be including you in his life, not pulling away and doing his own thing. That’s not what people do when they’re in a real relationship – they support each other.
He’s got someone else.
He might have more than one woman in his life (the jerk) and he isn’t sure who he wants to be with. If you suspect that he hasn’t been faithful to you, then this is probably something you imagine as the reason for why he’s pulling away from you. You shouldn’t wait around for him to make his choice. He should know that he wants to be with you.
He’s got commitment issues.
He might need to be on his own for a bit because he’s freaking out about making the relationship serious or official. He has to figure himself out because you’re not going to wait for him forever. But honestly, if he has commitment issues, it’s not likely that those are going to magically disappear, so tread with caution.
He wants to take a break.
He might want space because he actually wants a break, but if he doesn’t talk to you about what he wants or give you both a chance to think about how to navigate a relationship break, then he’s being dodgy. Maybe a breakup is on the cards, after all.
He thinks you’re clingy.
Now, wait – maybe you don’t think you’re a clingy girlfriend, but your boyfriend could think otherwise. He might think that you don’t give him enough space in your relationship. It’s a good idea to hold back a bit and see what happens. But FYI, if you don’t think you’re being clingy, you shouldn’t feel you have to change to keep the guy around.
He’s slow-fading you.
Okay, so it might not feel like a regular relationship fade out, but he could be using the excuse of needing space to get you used to the idea of you guys being away from each other for good. This could also be his way of getting used to the idea himself because it could be a difficult decision for him to make.
He’s testing you.
Here’s a really dodgy reason for him to say he needs some space. He wants to pull away so he can test just how much you’re into him. What, he’s expecting you to chase him or force him out of his self-imposed space? He can pull his way completely out of the relationship and be done with childish games. Thanks for playing. Goodbye! You don’t need his manipulation.