If a guy you really like suggests a casual relationship, you might be wondering what’s going through his mind. You certainly want to know what he’ll be expecting from the arrangement before you go into it so you can be prepared and tailor your behavior accordingly — that is, if it’s actually something you want to do and are okay with. Here’s what most guys want out of casual relationships.
- He wants no commitments. Guys look for casual relationships because they don’t want anything serious. Maybe he’s still recovering from his last relationship and is not quite ready to go all-in again. It could also be that he’s scared of commitment and instead of facing the issue head-on and working to get past it, he’s taking the easy way out. I once went out with a guy who wanted to keep it casual because he didn’t trust himself to be faithful to me and he just wanted to avoid the ugliness of sneaking around.
- He wants to have fun hookups. Sometimes a guy just wants to be able to go about his life without having to deal with distractions or emotional responsibilities. He just wants to be able to hit you up every now and then and get together for some hot, no-strings-attached sex. If he’s feeling extra nice, he might treat you to a meal before getting down to business. To him, what you have is purely physical and nothing more. You just have to ask yourself if you’re cool with being just a booty call. If your feelings are too sensitive for that, then the casual scene isn’t for you.
- He wants to be friends with benefits. You get to hang out and spend quality time together, talk about your lives, drag each other to parties, have amazing sex, and cuddle afterward, but it doesn’t go beyond that. He likes you and considers you a friend, and he’ll show up for you when he can. He’ll happily do all kinds of favors for you, but you won’t be getting the girlfriend title. Sure, he cares about you as a person, probably thinks you’re super cool, and loves being with you. He just doesn’t want the relationship to get any deeper.
- He wants to be free to date other people. A man might suggest a casual relationship because he’s seeing other people or he wants to keep his options open in case someone else comes into the picture. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re the perfect woman for him or he’s not ready to quit playing the field yet. By keeping it casual, he can still explore his connection with you until he finds a woman he wants to commit to or till he’s ready to get serious with you. This arrangement isn’t one-sided. You’ll also be allowed to go out with anyone else you fancy.
- He wants you to not get jealous or clingy. The last thing a guy wants from a casual relationship is for feelings to get in the way. You shouldn’t get jealous when you see him with other women and you certainly can’t get clingy on him. This means no calling or texting him all the time to know where he is or how his day went or even to tell him you miss him. You’ve got to suppress the jealousy or desires if they come up.
- He wants zero emotional responsibilities. A casual relationship means that he won’t have to check in with you before doing anything. He can party late into the night with his friends, travel out of town at a moment’s notice, or do anything he pleases without having to explain himself to you. He can go days or weeks without texting or calling you and be assured that you won’t make him feel bad about it. He doesn’t want to feel like he owes you anything. You just have to accept whatever he gives you and not ask for more.
- He wants something easy. Some guys don’t have the time for a serious relationship. They’re too busy with their careers or dealing with some other stuff that leaves very little room for complicated personal relationships. They can only afford casual relationships that don’t demand too much from them. This way they can still stay focused on their goals and enjoy intimacy from time to time. Or maybe he’s just lazy and wants something low-maintenance.
- He wants to be drama free. Let’s face it relationships can be stressful and full of drama. There’s pressure to live up to your partner’s expectations and be there for them every step of the way. This can be extremely draining. With a casual fling, guys just want zero complications and stress. He’s not your boyfriend, so don’t make him put up with your drama.