Google “Bondassage” and you won’t find many articles about it. It seems to be a relatively new bedroom technique that isn’t that mainstream but it might be just what your sex life needs. Why? It’s really about opening your mind to something a little different and more creative. Here are 14 things you should know about bondassage.

What is it exactly? Bondassage is basically bondage with massage. It combines sensual massage with some light BDSM elements, using different techniques and light submission, such as pinching or spanking, instead of full-on bondage.

Where does it come from? It was created by Certified Massage Therapist Jaeleen Bennis back in 2008 who came up with the idea and now runs classes to help people interested in the sexual art of bondassage.

Slow down. Before you think this is just for people who like kink, keep an open mind. Bondassage is about soft, gentle and tantalizing moves. The receiver is the main focus, and it’s all about their pleasure and bringing them to a new level of sexual enjoyment, not controlling them. So basically, anyone can do it and enjoy it.

Is it like tantra massage? You might think that bondassage is like tantra massage because of the sexual desire and energy that’s awakened through touch, as well as how it can relax you, and they do have those things in common. However, the BDSM element of bondassage takes it to a different sexual realm. So you really get the best of both worlds: the sensuality of massage and kinkiness of bondage.

It can be used as foreplay. There’s so much emphasis on having sex, but bondassage reminds us to slow down and really enjoy our partners’ bodies. It’s about taking the time to find what makes us tick and trying new things that can provide different pleasure that you didn’t know you could experience.

It hunts down erogenous zones. What erogenous zones do you usually concentrate on? If you’re always sticking to the same old ones to touch and kiss, it can make sex hit a rut. Bondassage goes looking for new and exciting pleasure zones on the body—yours and your partner’s—that can be reached through massage.

It’s a great start to the kinkier side of things. If you’ve ever been tempted to try BDSM, such as after reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, but were a little frightened about the pain element to it (those nipple clamps look sore AF), bondassage can be a great way to ease into it before trying something more hardcore. Or, it could be the final destination and main event. It’s really about what you and your partner are comfortable with.

It puts you on the receiving end. If you love to receive sexual pleasure or you want to try to be a little more submissive in the bedroom and let your partner take control, bondassage allows you to lie back, enjoy the ride and just live in the moment.

It’s not just about sexual pleasure. The main focus is sensual pleasure, which is about appealing to all your senses. The perfect ambiance for bondassage is a comfortable, romantic bedroom, and the use of various tools, such as feathers, whips (if you’re into something a little harder), caressing, hot oils during massage that smell and feel great, and whatever else makes you get in tune with your sensuality.

It can eliminate distraction. Some people might want to stimulate all their senses, while others might want to focus only on touch. This is a good idea if you feel you can’t disconnect from life beyond the bedroom door during sex. In this case, being blindfolded and wearing earphones to cut out sight and sound can be helpful. The only thing to then concentrate on is the feeling of the massage strokes and the light BDSM that takes you to a blissful place.

It changes your perception. Bondassage is not just for BDSM-curious people. Even if you’ve never been into the idea of bondage or whips, bondassage can help you to see that there’s a whole other world beyond BDSM to be explored. It’s not just about being submissive but actually being treated like a sex goddess by your partner.

Kiss vanilla sex goodbye. Bondassage can help you be more adventurous in the bedroom, but because it combines the romance or sensuality of massage with BDSM, it caters to both male and female desires. It’s the perfect compromise if your boyfriend wants to try BDSM without you giving away your level of comfort. The guy might be in charge, but it’s all about your comfort. You’re the star of the show.

Men can be submissive too. It’s not always easy for men to be on the receiving end of pleasure or to make themselves submissive, but bondassage is the perfect way to make this happen in the bedroom in a less hectic way than full bondage. If you’re an alpha female in the bedroom, then bondassage might be the ticket to giving him some pleasure and boost your sense of sexual confidence.

Interested? If you like the idea of a bondassage class, you should check out Bennis’s website, or take matters into your own hands (excuse the pun!) and read up on the craft if you’re interested in bringing it into your own bedroom.

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