For more than a century, psychologists have widely accepted that dreams can tell us a lot about a person. But dreams are rarely literal, and often take the form of cryptic metaphors disguised in everyday experiences which could mean very different things depending on the person. For example, the dream that your partner is cheating on you is common, but what it reveals about you is highly personal. Here are a few possibilities.
- You have unspoken issues with the relationship. Cheating is a form of secrecy and betrayal. Dreaming that your partner is unfaithful may indicate that your relationship has underlying problems that you and your boyfriend have not talked about. Seeing him cheat on you in your dream is a sign that something isn’t right between the two of you. You know you are avoiding confrontation, and your dreams are increasing the urgency to address it.
- You don’t feel secure in the relationship. An obvious interpretation of the dream is that you feel uncertain of his feelings for you. He doesn’t give you the reassurance that he is fully invested in your relationship, or he seems indifferent towards you. Sensing that he might leave you at any moment creates the kind of underlying anxiety that could lead to dreams of abandonment and infidelity.
- You don’t trust him. Sometimes dreams reveal truths that we can’t admit to ourselves. If you’re having recurrent dreams that your boyfriend is cheating, your subconscious may be signaling that you simply don’t trust him. Even if you normally feel that your relationship is perfect, you may sense a note of insincerity in his behavior. Faithfulness goes beyond sexual exclusivity. Your dream of being cheated on may indicate a more complicated and less literal lack of faith.
- You’ve been cheated on before. If you’ve been cheated on in a previous relationship, you may struggle to feel safe in your current relationship. This fear is likely to surface in dreams if you feel totally free from it during the day. This is especially true if you’ve never fully confronted your feelings about your ex’s infidelity. If this is the case, the baggage you bring from the previous relationship is still controlling you, no matter how fully you think you’ve moved on.
- You feel inadequate. Feelings of inadequacy are common in relationships, especially if you’re with someone you really admire. But there is a big difference between feeling lucky to be with someone and feeling like you aren’t worthy of them. If you’re having dreams that your partner is cheating on you, it may be a manifestation of your feelings of inferiority. You see him with someone else because you believe he can and will find someone better than you.
- He’s betrayed you. Sexual infidelity is only one kind of betrayal that can be perpetrated in a relationship. If your boyfriend has failed you before, dreaming of him cheating on you could simply be a reflection of your lack of faith in his reliability. Your sleeping mind has created a visual representation of the pain he caused you, indicating that you have not fully forgiven him for a previous misstep.
- Somewhere deep down, you know he’s being unfaithful. Not every dream is a convoluted metaphor. Sometimes they’re self-explanatory. Even if you don’t have concrete evidence that your boyfriend is cheating on you, you may sense it in subconscious ways that manifest themselves after you’re asleep and unable to block them out. We can’t always admit difficult truths to ourselves, especially when we’re able to dismiss them for lack of evidence. Your dreams are refusing to let you ignore what you wish you didn’t know.
- You think there’s someone else. Dreams can prey on our worst fears, especially if you leave those fears unspoken and let them build inside you. If you think your boyfriend is interested in someone else or you are suspicious about his relationship with someone you know, your dreams may be illustrating the worst-case scenario. You see him cheating on you in your dream because you’re worried he might want to or is crossing the line in some way already.
- You feel disconnected from him. What emotions do you feel when you have dreams about your boyfriend cheating on you? If you feel detached or resigned, it may be a sign that you feel cut off from him in real life. Maybe one of you has fallen out of love and is starting to move on, or maybe you’re simply outgrowing the relationship. Either way, dreaming that he’s sleeping with someone else is your subconscious telling you that, at least emotionally, you are no longer a couple.
- You feel neglected. Another possibility is that, even though your boyfriend isn’t cheating on you, he isn’t giving you enough of himself. You feel that your relationship is one-sided, and the “other woman” in your dream is the thing that keeps him away from you–a busy work schedule or family commitments or just plain selfishness. Whatever the reason, the fact that you are having such upsetting dreams is an indication that the relationship is not providing you with the partnership you need.
