Sometimes you go to a party, your eyes rest on a stranger, something clicks, and suddenly, they’re the center of your whole world. Other times, you spend months or years talking to a person, confiding in them, building a friendship so strong it can hold anything and it takes one gesture that you’ve seen a hundred times before to make you realize you’ve developed romantic feelings for them. However love happens for you, whether it’s the very first time or your twelfth lap around the block, you might find yourself wondering if it’s real. What does love feel like? Read on to find out.
- You feel gratitude. When love is real, when it feels like an answer to prayers you didn’t even know to pray, what you feel is an abundance of gratitude. You’re grateful that this person found their way into your life. That they chose to stay and make something with you in spite of all the noise out there. You’re grateful to have someone who is so interested in knowing you and committed to caring for you. You can’t believe what luck brought you together, but you’re grateful for every moment you get to spend with them and bare your souls to each other.
- You feel a strong emotional connection. When I met my partner, there was an immediate connection that isn’t usually there with most people I’m meeting for the first time. I knew I wanted to see them again and the feeling didn’t go away after several dates and even months spent away from each other and focused on other parts of my life. I didn’t feel like I had to be with them or get into a serious relationship, but I felt lucky to have it happen. Loving them and being loved by them feels like a precious privilege, not an obligation.
- You feel free to be yourself. If you have to close off or hide parts of yourself because you don’t think they would understand or accept it, then it’s not real love. When love is true, you want to come out of your shell. You feel like showing them all your parts even those that very few people get to see. You don’t want to pretend or play a part. You want to let your guard down and just bare yourself. They make you feel better about who you are, even the bits of yourself that you don’t quite love.
- You feel like you’re right where you’re supposed to be. It might sound kind of cliche, but when you encounter true love, you really do feel it deep in your bones. When you look at them, wake up next to them, or listen to them talk about some random thing, it feels oddly perfect. You’re no longer questioning their place in your life or second-guessing the relationship because being with them is starting to feel like the most natural thing in the world.
- You feel secure and stable. When it’s real, you won’t find yourself worrying about them leaving you out of the blue. You’re not anxious about them having experiences without you because you know they’re going to come back to you. So what if there are other prettier, richer, smarter, and more organized people out there? You know that doesn’t matter to them because they’re going to keep choosing you. You can make plans months in advance there’s a quiet assurance that they’ll still be there when the time rolls by. When you feel insecure, you can talk to them about it and be reassured.
- You feel like making them a priority. As a person who is perpetually annoyed by the idea of texting, talking on the phone, leaving my house, or having to interact with anyone other than my friends for any length of time, I know I’ve found true love when my discomfort is nothing compared to their happiness. Suddenly, I’m putting in extra effort to text back, check in with them, plan dates, and rearrange my life to accommodate them. Best of all, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to do these things and show up for them as best as I can.
- You feel unbelievably happy. True love makes you happier. It puts a smile on your face even on your darkest days. It can make you feel wild, unbridled ecstasy and a quiet, immovable joy. Real love makes you feel adventurous and a little invisible. You feel like no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be alright because they’ll be with you through it all. You can’t wait to see what your joint future holds, to make new memories with them, and experience so many firsts with your partner.
- You feel safe. If you’re constantly on your toes or you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner or something would go terribly wrong, that’s not true love. Real love should feel like safety. It’s knowing without a doubt that this person would never hurt you intentionally. It’s being able to respect, stick to, and set boundaries. It’s a sense of comfort, fulfillment, contentment, positivity, and assurance that they’ve got your back no matter what. It’s knowing that this person is invested in caring for your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
- You feel obsessed with them and curious about them. If you’re content to not know anything about your partner or excavate their outer layers to see what’s underneath, it’s probably because you’re not really in love. When it’s real, you want to learn everything you can about them. You want to study the way they smile, how they work, the sounds they make when they laugh. You can’t wait to hear about their day. Everything that happens to them, no matter how mundane is so much more interesting to you.