There are things that we all probably wish our significant others would do better or differently, but nothing irritates quite like people’s digital habits. Texting guys shouldn’t be rocket science, but oftentimes, it really feels like it is. Here are a few examples of things that guys which women knew about what they wanted out of their texts. You might not expect the answers.
- Don’t overdo it. Just because you’re eager, it doesn’t mean that you should put all your cards on the table at once. So, give the guy a break. Let him come to you. I know that playing hard to get isn’t the easiest tactic to employ and it gets a bad rap, but it has its uses. Believe me. There’s a certain way that you can play it safe, and that’s by keeping your distance. It will allow you to gauge whether he really likes you or not, and doesn’t create a power dynamic. There’s no reason to give him the perception that you’re more invested in the relationship than he is. He will only develop an unhealthy ego.
- Don’t mother or smother him. Don’t use your text relationship as a reason to demand contact from him 24/7. Just because he is theoretically accessible through his phone, it doesn’t mean you are owed that time. You have to deserve it. Work for it. Whatever boundaries he is asserting, make sure you respect them. There’s nothing more frustrating than liking someone, but them coming on too strong and short-circuiting your attraction to them.
- Be engaging. Don’t text just for the sake of texting him. I know that everyone in COVID times has gained an unhealthy relationship with their phone, and in turn, their attention span. However, that doesn’t mean you have to project that on anyone else. In fact, being able to spend time on your own or with other people proves that you are solid and well-rounded. It can sometimes feel like people attached to their phones constantly are shallow. You aren’t a bad person if you like your phone, but there are certain etiquettes that you can learn and incorporate into your daily life to accommodate the people around you.
- Focus on humor. This isn’t the time to lecture someone or prove that you know something that they don’t. There’s no space for superiority complexes here. Just focus on ways to establish and build your connection together. That way, you aren’t treating your text relationship like something that you can ‘win or lose’. Relationships just aren’t like that.
- If in doubt, send memes. Or nudes. Whichever is more imminently at your disposal? They’re low effort, prove that you’re thinking about them, and give them the chance to lead conversations. If you feel like you’re always the one who texts first, see how long it takes them to start things off. There’s being aloof, and then there’s rudeness. Don’t get the two mixed up. He may well be texting other people, so don’t be naive and do the same. Memes are a good way of reaching out.
- Say good morning/good night. These are short and simple classics that every guy wishes girls knew. White noise to some, but a very useful instrument to have in your back pocket. There are ways that you can show another person you like them without cluttering their phone up. Incorporating someone as part of their daily habits is a lot more meaningful and trusting than just bothering them with every thought that enters their head. There is a time for both, but that’s an in-person culture. It doesn’t show maturity.
- Ask about their past. Feel like you’ve exhausted the small-talk avenues? Deepen the conversation. Make your texts meaningful. Diversify what you talk about day-to-day to keep things interesting. You will learn much more about them that way. You can learn about what he did in relationships in the past and track whether he seems to go through the same patterns of missing his ex in the present.
- Ask about their future goals. This is where you can really tap into what drives your partner to be different. Used correctly, these texts can really strengthen your relationship without invading their space. Learn about their drives, ambition, and tap into their potential together.
You will soon find that texts don’t have to make your relationships more shallow, they can deepen them too. Just learn how to text!