What Is Cuckolding & Would Your Partner Be Up For It?

What would you do if your partner told you he wants to watch you have sex with another man who has a bigger penis than him? Your first thought (after spitting out your wine) might be that he’s lost his mind. But there are many men keen on trying this fetish, known as cuckolding. Although sometimes confused with swinging, cuckolding doesn’t always allow your partner to get involved with the sexual acts and the fetish often goes a lot deeper than just sex. Here’s why guys might be interested in trying it out:

  1. He likes being dominated. The woman in the cuckolding scenario is the dominant partner while her S.O. has to remain submissive. The husband will only be allowed to get involved in the sex if his wife allows it (hello, threesomes). He won’t be allowed to experience sexual release until she allows it. See where this is going? Basically his whole sex life is in her hands and if he’s turned on by the lack of control in being submissive, then cuckolding might just interest him.
  2. He’s turned on by his own jealousy. You might think that a husband watching his wife having sex would fuel rage and jealousy that could wreck his relationship — or make him want to start throwing punches. Of course jealousy is a possibility (this is a relationship we’re talking about), but men interested in cuckolding are actually turned on by their feelings of jealousy and the idea of their girlfriends in bed with other men. Perhaps not being prey to negative feelings but turning the tables on them instead is powerful and liberating.
  3. He gets to push the cheating boundaries in a safe way. Instead of getting played by a girlfriend who cheats on him behind his back, cuckolding empowers the man because he’s able to observe and gain pleasure from seeing his wife do the horizontal mambo with another guy. Sometimes the woman will have sex with another man without allowing her boyfriend in the room but then tell him all about it later (over hot chocolate?), which can also be pleasurable for him.
  4. His partner’s pleasure turns him on. The guy wants to give his girlfriend more pleasure, perhaps allow her to explore her deepest fantasies, and maybe even enjoy better sex that she could find outside of their marriage. Hmm. Is cuckolding the new Christmas gift for significant others?
  5. He gains pleasure from seeing other men desire his lover. Sometimes part of the cuckolding appeal is about a husband feeling pleasure, and probably an ego boost, from other men being attracted to his girl. Again, instead of being consumed with jealousy or feeling insecure about it, the man feels good that his lover is desirable to other men. This might also make him find her even more attractive.
  6. He sees his lover in a new, sexy way. When would a guy get to stand back and see his girlfriend having sex? Of course, he could videotape them going at it, but cuckolding takes the idea to a whole other level (which is great if he feels awkward about his beer belly showing up in the video). Unlike when he has sex with his partner, he’ll be getting to see different angles and views of her body when her limbs are twisted with those of another man, which could be hot for him.
  7. There are different cuckolding roles, depending on the guy. There’s submission where you’re not allowed to climax until your wife says so, and then there’s humiliation. This is another role some men who try cuckolding like. Their girlfriends shame them in various ways, such as by mocking them for not measuring up to their lovers (let’s hope that conversation doesn’t occur on the bus!). Other cuckolding roles for the guy include being forced into living out their wildest fantasies that they’d never do in their regular lives, such as bisexuality, or just being a voyeur. It’s clear that roles need to be set beforehand to ensure everyone gets a happy ending.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.