Main Character Energy: What It Is & Why It’s The Best Approach To Life And Love

Main Character Energy: What It Is & Why It’s The Best Approach To Life And Love

Let’s be real: You’re a total catch and you know it. You’re bossing life, setting goals, and smashing them one after another. You feel good, you look good, and you’re loving it. You have main character energy, and that’s not easy to come by. So, what is it and what does it mean for your love life and your life in general? Read on to find out.

What is Main Character Energy?

When you watch a movie or read a book, what does every protagonist have in common? They’re the star of the show. Main character energy means going through life like you’re the top-billed celebrity. You’re the leading lady, the charismatic yet mysterious starlet who’s strong, smart, and totally badass. It’s not that you’re selfish or think the world revolves around you. Instead, you simply recognize your worth and go through the world with that in mind.

In essence, main character energy is all about taking the reins of your own life. It means knowing that nothing you want in life is just going to drop into your lap. You have to go out there and get it yourself without letting anything stand in your way. You’re no one’s sidekick, nor will you be relegated to the sidekick or best friend role. This is your story, and you’re sure as hell going to tell it well.

Traits of someone with MCE

  1. You’re not easily defeated. Sometimes things don’t go your way in life. It happens. However, you don’t give up at the first hurdle. Instead, you dust yourself off and try again. (Thanks, Aaliyah!) You know that good things are worth the effort, so you put in the work. It takes a lot to tear you down. You persevere and even thrive in the face of adversity, and that’s what main character energy is all about.
  2. You highlight your best features rather than getting down about your flaws. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds or you hate that you’re so stubborn sometimes. You’re working on it. In the meantime, you prefer to focus on all the amazing things about you — and there are plenty. That confidence is rare and beautiful to witness.
  3. You have high standards for the people in your life. You’re no princess and you know the world doesn’t revolve around you. However, you do expect people to treat you as you treat them. That means showing you kindness, courtesy, and respect, at the very least. Standards and boundaries ensure you’re never taken advantage of or taken for granted.


  1. You live every day to the fullest. Who knows what might happen tomorrow? Main character energy means grasping that life isn’t guaranteed and you have to make the most of it now. You appreciate and take joy in the little things. You try new experiences, spend time making connections, and try to make each day memorable.
  2. You take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You know you can’t pour from an empty cup. In order to care for other people, you have to care for yourself first. You eat well, move your body, maybe even go to therapy. You do what it takes to feel good about yourself because you know you deserve it.
  3. You always strive to be the best version of yourself. There’s always more work to be done and you’re doing it. Life is a journey and there’s always room for improvement. You know main characters are dynamic and stand out from the crowd, and that’s because they’re always working towards reaching their full potential.

How MCE can help you find love

  1. Your confidence is incredibly attractive. No one can resist a confident woman who knows what she has to offer the world. It’s evident in the way you walk, the way you enter a room, even the way you talk to people. People are bound to be attracted to you. It’d be a shocker if you didn’t have several potential dates to choose from at a time.
  2. Your positivity is contagious. You don’t focus on the negative in life. That doesn’t mean you never feel upset or scared, you just don’t let those feelings dominate. You’re always looking to the bright side, and that’s hot as hell. No one wants to be with a partner who’s a downer. Your ability to be upbeat makes you tons of fun to be around.
  3. You never overlook red flags or accept bad behavior. You have main character energy, meaning you’re not about to let anyone dull your shine in any way. If someone doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, you’re out. Same goes for anyone who lies, cheats, or betrays you. You have no time for that nonsense.
  4. You go after what you want and don’t let opportunities pass you by. If you like someone, you don’t wait for them to make the first move. You’re empowered enough to let them know how you feel and ask them out yourself. That’s really attractive.
  5. You’re a hopeless romantic and aren’t afraid of big gestures. You’re the opposite of a commitment-phobe. You know that love is one of the best parts in life, so when you experience it, you’re not afraid to dive in. You don’t run or get cold feet. You’re all in.
  6. You’re not desperate for a relationship. No matter how much you love love, your life is just fine without it. You’re the star of your story, which means until a co-leading person comes along, you’ll keep on shining all on your own. That lack of desperation comes across and makes you even more attractive to potential partners.

The difference between main character energy and narcissism

While it’s a good thing to be confident, main character energy often gets a bad rap for essentially being covert narcissism under a different name. While there’s certainly a danger of taking things too far, they’re in no way the same.

  1. Self-care vs. making everything about you and your problems. If you have MCE, you’re in touch with your feelings. You’re not emotionally repressed or stunted. You appreciate the importance of talking about what’s in your head and heart to process it and move on from it. Narcissism is totally different — it’s all about expecting everyone and everything to revolve around you and your issues.
  2. Expecting people to treat you well vs. being needy and clingy. You’re not narcissistic for wanting the people in your life to treat you as a valuable and lovable human being. That just means you have main character energy. Someone with narcissism needs constant validation and attention; MCE is all about having standards.
  3. Highlighting small wins and accomplishments vs. pretending your life is perfect. You fully appreciate the fact that you have flaws and that sometimes life sucks. However, you prefer to concentrate on the positive. When you achieve something, no matter how small, you celebrate. There’s totally different from someone with narcissism. They pretend their life is perfect and attempt to convince everyone of that.
  4. Not letting criticism affect your self-esteem vs. not being able to accept criticism. You accept that you have imperfections and can sometimes mess up. You hear people out when they have something to say. However, you don’t let it doubt your worth. Narcissism is different. People like that deflect and deny any and all criticism, no matter how valid. That’s not what MCE is about.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love.