What Is “Premature Invitation” & Are You Guilty Of It?

You’ve been getting to know a guy you recently met and you really like him, so you decide to invite him out on a date. But what if you jumped the gun and did it too fast? Here are 11 signs you’re guilty of “premature invitation.”

You don’t know if he’s actually just looking to chat. What if the guy’s just looking for someone to talk to when he’s bored? Just because you’ve been talking, it doesn’t mean it has to lead to anything more serious than that. It can be difficult to know the difference between random conversation and actual romantic interest when first chatting to someone, so it pays to slow down and take some time to figure out where you’re at.

You haven’t really figured out what he wants. Before you ask him out on a date and risk rejection, ask yourself if you even know what he wants out of a relationship (or if he wants one at all). Does he want a fling, some casual sex, or an actual long-term relationship? You need to know so you don’t get ahead of yourself. What’s the point in putting yourself out there if you don’t know if he’s worth it?

Sometimes people flirt just for the sake of it. The guy’s been flirting with you and it’s made you think he’s interested, but you can never tell! Anyone can flirt up a storm with someone. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to date them or even have sex with them. Keep a cool head even during those hot texts. Never assume anything! If he hasn’t actually said he wants to date you, it doesn’t mean anything.

He hasn’t actually asked for your number. Maybe you met through a friend or on a dating app and you’ve been getting on really well. However, if he hasn’t asked for your phone number, that can be a sign that he’s keen to keep things chilled. If he’s not finding new ways to get in touch with you, it’s usually a sign that things aren’t going to progress. Asking him out prematurely could make it seem like you’re trying to force things to happen.

You’re keen to get the ball rolling. By pushing things forward too fast, you risk coming off as desperate. Of course, you don’t give a damn what he thinks of you (nor should you) but you also don’t want to look back on the situation and wish you’d played things differently. It’s really about the type of person you want to be so that you don’t have regrets. If you’re rushing in and trying to make things happen, it looks like you’re stuck on him. You also risk settling because you’re so desperate to make a go of things with this specific guy.

You haven’t been talking for longer than a few days. It’s never a good idea to talk to someone on a dating app for too long because you can lose momentum by dragging things out. However, rushing things offline can be just as damaging. If you don’t even know the guy, why ask him out on a date?

You’re not sure that he’ll even say yes. Dating is always a risk and you shouldn’t be afraid of rejection, but you also want to feel confident that the guy’s keen on your advances before you make them. You’ll only know once you invest more time in getting to know him.

You feel like you should be taking more risks. When you’re in a rush to have a date with the guy, you might push yourself by saying, “Why not?” or “You only live once!” Although it’s good to remember such things, you shouldn’t just do things for the sake of them. Whatever happened to building a real connection with someone? Don’t underestimate the power of doing that! If you just ask him out without really knowing if he’s right for you, he might actually be put off by your rushing, not because he’s not interested in dating you.

You end up wondering if he’s really into you. The thing about making the first move really fast is that you might wonder in future if the guy’s actually into you or not. If he had been, wouldn’t he have made the first move? It can drive you crazy thinking in this way, so it could be better to take your time and see what he does so that you’re guaranteed of his feelings for you.

You’re actually afraid to dateAre you sure you’re not asking him out on a date prematurely because you’re actually afraid to get back into the dating game? Making your move before getting to know the guy, which entails taking time and making an effort, could be a way for you to sabotage your efforts. Maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt or you’re feeling the pressure to date. In such cases, it’s actually better not to ask him out and deal with what’s going on with you. Time to do you!

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