“Vulturing” is a dating trend that’s as nasty as it sounds. It’s when someone becomes interested in their partner when they fear that their relationship is about to end, or they’re single and suddenly showing interest in their crush because someone else is. Here are some signs you could be dealing with someone guilty of this behavior.
They swoop in at crucial times. When you tell your partner you’re fed up with the relationship or you stop playing to your crush’s whims, they suddenly swoop in and give you attention. WTF? They’re making big moves just at the last second to try to keep you around, but they’re not always genuine.
They’re a love-bomber. They not only turn up and give you all of their time all of a sudden (even though they were always “too busy” before), but they also make you feel like the most amazing, special, beautiful woman in the world. But, much like a love-bomber, they’re manipulating you.
Their efforts don’t last long. They might act like they really want to make the relationship work this time, or they’re finally ready to commit and become official. Whatever. The truth is, they’re going to go around in circles. They might give you some attention and love for a while before disappearing again. You’re caught up in their toxic cycle.
It feels like you’re dating two different people. One minute they’re super-interested in you, the next they’re over you. WTF? The vulture is king or queen of mixed messages. It could be their way of keeping you on your toes or keeping you on the sidelines until they really want you (if ever). The thing is, someone who only wakes up to the idea of dating you when it’s convenient doesn’t make for a reliable partner.
They make breakups weird. Just when you get over them, they come back. It might be days after your breakup or even weeks later. Once the dust has settled and your tears have dried, they’ll re-enter your life like a Prince (or Princess!) Charming. Meanwhile, their behavior makes you feel worse because you were getting over them so nicely! By getting back with them, you’d be taking a huge step back in your self-growth.
They become a “liker.” You had a huge fight and walked away. You didn’t hear from them for ages. Then, instead of calling or texting you, they start “liking” your posts on Instagram and Facebook. WTF? It’s like they’re too much of a coward to make real contact, so they’re trying to sneak around in the shadows, circling and watching you from afar. They’re probably using this strategy to suss out your feelings. How you respond to those “likes” will tell them if they have a chance with you or not.
They get in touch when you have someone new. You only hear from your ex or crush when you get a new partner. Suddenly, they seem really interested in finding out how you’re doing and how your love life’s been. Hmmm, jealous much? Clearly they only want what’s been in front of them for ages when someone else is appreciating it. SMH.
They’re an acquaintance who suddenly wants to hang out. This is always a bit weird. When someone you sort of know starts to take an interest in wanting to meet up with you, it can make you wonder what’s up. Why the sudden interest? They could very well be a vulture. Maybe they saw that gorgeous selfie you posted on Facebook and thought they wanted to ask you on a date, or they were lonely after his relationship fell apart and he realized you were still available.
They have a partner but they’re texting you. When they got into a relationship, they went AWOL for a while but now they’re texting you again. They might act like they’re not doing anything bad or they could be bold enough to hint that things aren’t going that well with their current flame. So now they’re swooping back into your life. Hmm. It’s quite insulting, actually. They’re treating you like you’re their backup plan.
They know you’re single again. The vulture does their homework. If you recently became single and suddenly they’re in your life, it might be a coincidence… or it might not. They might be watching you from afar, waiting for the right moment to ask you out. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it could be that they’re forcing things too much instead of letting them happen naturally. It might also piss you off when you ask yourself why they never made a move when you were single before! They might have a hidden agenda for being interested in you now.
They send messages through their friends. If your mutual friends are suddenly interested in who you’re dating and what’s going on in your life, it could be that this person is giving them orders to get information about you on their behalf. Can’t they just man up and make their move? This situation can feel a bit unsettling because it’s like they’re hiding in the shadows, waiting for their moment to pounce.
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