When it comes to love and relationships, it makes sense that we build walls to protect ourselves from getting hurt and having our hearts broken — but what happens when you finally meet someone who not only sees past those walls, but might be worth tearing them down for?
You feel naked and exposed.
It’s like standing in front of an auditorium crowd completely naked and having nothing but the podium to shield you — one step in any direction and you’re baring everything. Except instead of a room full of people, it’s the man you’re dating and you’re terrified of what he might think once he truly looks inside your heart for the first time. What if he doesn’t like what he sees?
You feel eagerly terrified.
It’s like adrenaline creeping through your veins — you’re scared, you’re confused, and you’re absolutely elated. It’s a lot of emotion that’s been locked up inside attempting to ooze its way out all at once. You want to relax and let things unfold naturally, but it’s a lot easier said than done.
You start to freak out a little bit.
It’s natural to be scared when your walls start to come down. You second guess yourself, wondering things like, “Hell, what the hell am I doing?” and “Is this really a good idea? Leaving your heart exposed when it’s been carefully protected for so long can start to get the best of you, but fear is part of the process of letting someone in again.
You close yourself off again slightly.
You start to pull back a little and question yourself. You want to feel vulnerable. You want to completely open up, but you also don’t want to have to build that wall right back up all over again if things don’t work out. So, you distance yourself slightly until you feel safe enough to let it go completely.
You try to reason with yourself.
You reinforce your feelings about him, reminding yourself of the fact that he’s actually the first guy in a long time to treat you so well. Every time you get together is better than the time before. He’s tearing down your walls, but you’re building something new and unexpected together, and that’s pretty exciting.
You eventually stop panicking.
The fears start to subside and you feel an overwhelming sense of calmness. It’s like the walls have completely caved and the dust is finally settling. You never thought you’d get to a place where you felt so content again, but here you are, and it’s pretty great.
You feel safer without all that protection.
Even though you’re completely exposed and you’ve let the most important part of you, your heart, open for something unknown, you feel safe. Even if it doesn’t work out, feeling this fantastic now is worth whatever lies ahead.
You feel free.
Nothing’s better than being with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you need to hide any part of yourself. You’re ready and free to see what can happen in the connection you’ve made with the guy who seems genuinely worth the effort. The walls you built around your heart weren’t built in a day and they’re not destroyed easily, either, but if he’s worth your time, he won’t be in any rush, anyway.
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