What It’s Like Dating Someone With Anger Issues – You’ve Been Warned!

If you’ve ever looked at the guy you’re dating and thought, “Whoa, he’s got quite a temper,” that’s not something you should take lightly. He might have serious anger issues that could impact you and your relationship and even end up being unsafe in the end. Here’s what it’s like dating a guy with hot-headed, seeing-red issues and why it will be toxic to your life.

  1. You’re regularly walking on eggshells. If the guy’s prone to temperamental outbursts, they probably happen at any time of the day or night, when you least expect them. That’s what happened to me. My ex would lose his mind completely out of the blue without warning. The result was that I was constantly walking on eggshells because I was never sure what to expect from him and didn’t want to risk setting him off.
  2. You end up feeling constantly anxious. Walking around on eggshells isn’t something you do calmly. I felt anxious all the time, expecting drama from the guy at every turn. When I’d receive a text or call from him, my heart would race and I’d be bracing myself for some or other drama. It really brought so much stress to my life.
  3. You’re often embarrassed in public. Being with my ex meant that being in public could end up being so embarrassing because angry men love to cause scenes. He’d get mad in restaurants for any little thing and he’d get into bar brawls all the time. It was just too much to deal with.
  4. You’re mocked by him. A guy who’s angry is resentful and bitter, which can make him nasty to you and other people in his life. It’s not cool for him to be unkind. You don’t deserve that crap! Even if he later plays it off as “joking” or criticizes you for taking things too seriously, this is not okay.
  5. You won’t be able to confront him about anything. The sad thing about wanting to tell the angry guy how his behavior makes you feel is that you can’t because if you do, it’s going to be another big blowout. Damn.
  6. You have to prep him for conversations. If you have to talk to the guy about something sensitive and you’re worried about his reaction – in other words, he’ll lose it – you’ll spend a lot of time trying to find the best time/opportunity/location to speak to him. If you can’t even share what’s on your mind whenever it’s on your mind, why are you with this guy?
  7. You’re always nursing his wounds. Are you dating a grown man or a teenager? The angry guy is super sensitive. While that might seem attractive when you first meet him, soon you’ll realize that he’s defensive and views every little thing as a personal attack. It’s so exhausting.
  8. You’re always in a black cloud. The thing about a guy with anger issues is that his anger’s a problem. It’s not something that happens once in a while. It’s always there. Being with this guy is sure to make you feel irritable and down because his low mood will be dragging you down. This is especially something to bear in mind if his anger is tied to depression or some other condition.
  9. You don’t get to flourish. In your relationship, you should feel that you can express who you are and be accepted for it. You shouldn’t feel like you’re being choked by his angry, volatile moods. But that’s exactly what will happen. You can’t live your best life if you’re stuck in such a dark place.
  10. You’re having toxic fights. My ex used to lose his cool during fights so that they were always of the shouting variety. Honestly, it sucked and brought me down. Often it felt like he was being verbally abusive. There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing and even having arguments, but it needs to be done in a healthy way.
  11. You’re cutting other people out of your life. The thing about being with an angry guy is that you don’t want your friends to be around him. You’re afraid that he’ll say or do something because of his issues, which can make you avoid the people in your life who actually matter.
  12. You’re afraid of escalation. He always gets angry when he fights with you, to the point where a vein in his forehead is throbbing and looks like he’s going to start smashing things up. It’s nerve-wracking and makes you worry that he’s going to become violent. I got inklings of that with my ex and I knew what I had to do. RUN!
  13. You avoid him. Sometimes, the best thing I felt I could do was totally ignore my ex when he was angry or moody. I felt better without him, and that was a huge sign that the relationship was so bad for me. If you feel better when your boyfriend isn’t around, that’s a dead giveaway you’re with the wrong guy. GTFO!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.