Relationships are a struggle when you kinda hate being in them. It’s not that you’re against love or aren’t smitten with the guy you’re seeing, it’s just that the relationship title ends up feeling more like a burden than a joy most of the time. If you love your partner but kinda hate being in a relationship, you’ll likely relate to these struggles.
- You enter relationships reluctantly. You always feel a little bit forced and super pressured to “make things official.” You like the non-official stage and you’d prefer to stay there for as long as possible. You’re comfortable when things are casual, and you feel yourself becoming suffocated the moment you agree to be a legit couple.
- You’re frustrated by having to live up to relationship expectations. You don’t want to do traditional boyfriend/girlfriend stuff and you resent that you’re expected to participate in those kinds of things. You feel like you become boxed into a role when you’re in a relationship, and your free time is suddenly filled up with obligations you never really agreed to. You wish your partner would either accept you as you are or find someone else that’s into those kinds of things.
- You demand your independence, even when it’s not being threatened. You don’t ask for it, you take it. You have no problem being cold or distant if that is what it takes for you to get a little space because you need it to be OK. You have no problem telling your significant other that they can’t tag along on your night out with your friends, or that they aren’t welcome to join you when you’re doing your favorite hobby. It’s not that you don’t like spending time with them, it’s just that you refuse to be one of those couples that does everything together. Maybe you hate being in a relationship because you had a bad experience in the past. Either way, it makes you act out a bit with your boyfriend.
- You blow minor issues out of proportion. You don’t like arguments or relationship drama, so any minor hiccup could be the reason you throw in the towel. You bail at the first sign of trouble because you really don’t want any trouble at all. You like having a reason to leave, so you make minor issues seem like a BFD, just in case you want to use them as an excuse to end things.
- You mess up. Even though your partner is amazing, you still kind of don’t want to be tied down. You get restless and act out, often doing silly things that could sabotage the relationship. You don’t try to intentionally hurt other people, but sometimes you honestly can’t stop yourself.
- You make your own rules. When you hate being in a relationship, you don’t really care what a partner is “supposed” to do. You decided for yourself what you think a good partner is, and you only listen to your own definition. If you had to listen to society’s billion rules on dating, you would probably just stay single forever.
- You don’t really give AF what your partner wants out of the relationship. You can be kind of selfish in a relationship. You have a “take it or leave it” policy when it comes to what you have to offer, and you don’t like being pressured to do more. You’re always honest about who you are when you start dating someone, and you don’t want anyone to try to change you. If he wants something different, then he should date someone different.
- You give it your best shot anyway. You don’t actually want to be single forever; you’d just rather be alone than be in a relationship that feels wrong. You think one day you’ll meet someone who’s totally on your page, who completely accepts you, and then this whole dating thing won’t feel like a burden at all. Until then, you give love a shot, learn a little more about yourself, and get a better idea of what specific behaviors drive you nuts in a relationship. The better you are at pinpointing what it is you hate about dating, the easier it will be to recognize when you’ve found someone you can make it work with long term.