What It’s Like When You Want To Fall In Love But Can’t Even With Dating

Somewhere in-between being happily single and hating every minute of the solo life is the stage of wanting a boyfriend but being super fed up with dating. You know you want the end result, but it’s pretty much impossible to wrap your head around the journey to get there. Here’s what life is like when you want to meet someone but can’t even with dating:

  1. You have mixed feelings about a date. Sure, you’re excited… for the first five minutes after you’ve make the plan. Then the total dread sets in. You know you should get out there and meet this guy, but you also know you’re probably going to hate every minute of the evening. Sigh.
  2. You’re always on a break. You go on more dating breaks than anyone you know, but hey, they’re totally necessary. Sometimes you’re on a dating hiatus for months at a time because you like the idea of dating… in theory. Not so much the reality of it.
  3. You draw the line at blind datesYou totally get that dating app dates are basically blind because while you know what the guy looks like, you don’t know a whole lot else. But when a friend or co-worker offers to set you up, you totally freak out and turn them down. You just can’t bring yourself to meet a total stranger.
  4. Your friends don’t ask you questions. They know you so well that they’re used to your rants and raves about how much dating sucks, and no, they don’t really want to hear it again. You can’t blame them. You wouldn’t want to talk to you about dating, either.
  5. You can’t shake your anxiety. First dates are a special kind of awful evening for you. They might start out okay, but by the time you’ve ordered your glass of red wine, you’re looking for an escape route. You can never stop wondering if this is going to end like all your other dates — absolutely nowhere.
  6. You make yourself busy on purpose. Yeah, you tell your friends you can’t even deal with dating right now because look at all the stuff on your calendar: work, social plans, the new Netflix drama you just have to check out. But really, you make time for what you want to, and you don’t really want to date.
  7. You keep switching up your strategy. You only find dates on Sundays. Then you try every single night of the week. Then you try messaging guys on their lunch breaks. You keep thinking you can somehow win at dating — that if you could only find the right time to chat, you’re going to find love.
  8. You try every single dating app. Yes. Even that one your mom keeps bugging you about. You can’t help but be super hopeful that the latest app will solve all your dating woes and bring you your happily ever after. When that doesn’t happen, you download yet another one.
  9. You’re a unique kind of lonely. It’s basically a self-imposed loneliness. You have all the tools available to go on dates, but every time you decide to get over yourself and start dating again, you’d rather stay home than suffer through another awkward evening. You’re sick of hanging out with yourself… but not enough to date.
  10. You’ve accepted your reality. You still have some hope that eventually you’re going to fall in love, but that feels like some magical far-away place, not something that could really happen to you. You’ve accepted your reality, and for now, you’re just going to keep on living your life… and avoiding dates whenever possible.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.