What Love Is Like For Women Who Prefer Being Alone

Some women are just more comfortable being alone. They enjoy being single and having “me time”, but they aren’t completely immune to the pulls of love. When a woman who prefers being alone decides to commit to a relationship, this is what it’s like:

  1. You have to constantly reassure him that it’s not him, it’s you. You can accidentally give off the vibe that he’s bugging you or you’re avoiding him, but you really just want to be left alone for a moment. You have to reassure him that he’s not doing anything wrong, you just need some space.
  2. You have a hobby that doesn’t include him. You have a 1-person hobby, like reading or swimming, so you get plenty of time to do your own thing- without hurting his feelings.
  3. To outsiders, it doesn’t always look like you’re a team. You know you’re on the same team even if you don’t spend every single moment together. When it matters, you are always there for each other, and you enjoy having lives outside of the relationship.
  4. You often feel exhausted in a relationship. Even low maintenance relationships tend to wear you out. They often feel more like work than anything else, and you wonder if you’re just meant to be alone.
  5. You have an area of the house that’s just for you. You have a walk-in closet, craft room, office, or maybe just a designated chair that’s just for you. You can always count on it to be an empty space, and he knows not to bug you if that’s where you’re hanging out.
  6. Even small arguments or disagreements make you really upset. Tiny bumps in the road make you really unhappy, because you wouldn’t have to deal with them if you were single. You know logically that small fights are normal and healthy, and that this relationship is worth going through the bad days, but you still don’t want to participate in them at all.
  7. You encourage him to go out without you. You can’t always tolerate the company of his friends, so you encourage him to go ahead and go out without you. You both gain a little bit of independence this way, and you get to have the whole house to yourself.
  8. You pretty regularly sleep on the couch. You just sleep better when you’re alone. You enjoy the closeness of cuddling before bedtime, but you often find that you have to move to the couch or guest room to actually fall asleep.
  9. You struggle to go all in. Even when you meet your perfect match, it’s difficult to commit 100%. You’re sort of a loner, and relationships are a two-person activity. You want to be together forever, but you also kind of want to be apart.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.