What Makes A Guy Lose Interest In You?

There’s a guy you’ve been hanging out or texting with and things are going well, then one day he tells you not feeling it – or worse, he ghosts out of nowhere. While there’s no guarantee that your budding relationship ever could have gone the distance, you can’t help but wonder what made him lose interest in the first place. Here’s what could have happened.

  1. He could sense some big incompatibility. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just happens sometimes! Have you ever chatted up a guy and then he said something that made you change your entire opinion on him? It’s common, and it’s better that this guy ghosted instead of stringing you along. Maybe he just disagreed with a viewpoint, or it could have been something small like the way you construct texts. Maybe you “lol” in situations that don’t require it. No matter what, don’t read too much into it if that’s the case. It’s better to move forward and leave this guy in the past.
  2. He might not be over his ex. Sometimes, guys feel pressured to rebound directly after a broken heart. But, it’s not often in their best interest to do so, especially if he still has some lingering feelings. It’s hard for any new girl to compete with a girl he’s already devoted so much to. He could have left you on read just because she messaged him that same night. It’s unfair, but it’s best to be with someone who is actually fully ready to move forward with you.
  3. You might not be moving fast enough for him. And that’s completely okay. You should never feel pressured to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do. If his texts make you nervous or pressured, it may be better off that he’s stopped texting you. Unless he’s called you names or made you feel bad about your feelings, he’s done nothing wrong either. The two of you are just on a different page and looking for completely different things.
  4. The conversations are one-sided. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, it’s important to be self-aware. Do you monopolize conversations? Do you often need a lot of attention, or have all eyes on you? That’s part of your personality. However, it may throw a guy for a loop, if you’re not giving him any questions to answer. See if you accidentally killed the conversation by talking too much about yourself. If you feel like that may have been the issue, a simple “Hey, how was your weekend?” might be enough to restart the dialogue.
  5. He could have a lot going on. It seems crazy, but it’s been a tough year so this is a legitimate excuse. The pandemic is causing all of us to be our less-than-best selves. It’s possible he thought he had time for a relationship and then something came up. If he ghosted you, that’s not cool. But if he let you down randomly, it could be based on his schedule and his mental load right now.
  6. Your routine may be a bit boring. Again, nothing wrong with a comfortable routine,  especially these days. But sometimes a guy wants to go out and have a great time every weekend while you’d rather watch Netflix and stay inside. If a new relationship suddenly fizzled and he lost interest, it’s possibly because he was looking for more. For this guy, it’s more about the adventure itself than the person he’s experiencing it with. There are far more compatible people out there for you.
  7. He’s only interested in the chase. Some guys really love the rush they get when a woman falls for them. It makes them feel invincible. If he stops planning dates and calling right around the time you’re looking for the next step, he’s likely one of those guys. Don’t take it to heart — sadly, you’re not the first or last girl he’ll leave feeling this way. Enjoy the brief romance for what it was, and move on.
  8. He’s terrified. It’s possible that he’s really developed feelings for you… but, didn’t expect them. If your arrangement started casual and suddenly he froze, it’s possible you’re “marriage material.” This might feel like a curse if you’re in your 20s and not ready to settle down yourself. This guy knows you’re smarter and more mature than most girls he dates, and since he likes you, that thought sadly terrifies him. By throwing himself into another relationship, he’s hoping to end those feelings for now.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.