There’s no relationship experience quite like the one you have with your first love. It’s so powerful that even years later, you might bump into your them and still feel something like affection. Or, you may find yourself thinking about them more than any other ex. So, here are 11 reasons why your first love is so memorable.
- They set the standard for the rest of your relationships. This person might not necessarily be your first relationship, but they were probably your first real, serious one. Because of this, they do set the standard for the rest of your relationships, and you might unconsciously find yourself comparing your current partner to your first love for the rest of your days. This applies whether your relationship with that initial person was healthy or not; it taught you how you want to be treated.
- It was the first time you felt like that. While you might have grown used to getting crushes, falling in love for the first time is a completely different experience. I spent weeks wondering what was wrong with me before realizing I had actually gone head over heels for the first time. Even when you fall out of love, it’s hard to forget what a roller-coaster those feelings were. There’s a euphoria that comes along with it.
- It was a simpler time. Most people are pretty young, usually teenagers, when they fall in love for the first time. So, your first love is so memorable because it was a much simpler time in your life when all you have to worry about is your algebra test and whether your boyfriend or girlfriend was going to invite you to the dance. Because things are so simple and carefree in many ways, you can look back with fondness once you get older and have real, adult problems added into the mix.
- You’ve never known heartbreak like that. Breakups are never easy, but nothing hurts like your first love. Again, because you’ve never felt like that before. Every heartbreak hurts, but the ones that came after that first real relationship were easier to get over. It’s not that I didn’t love or care for anyone else I dated; I just loved them differently, so losing them felt different too. You don’t forget your first love because you use that loss as a benchmark to compare other losses.
- You only have one. You can fall in love dozens of times, but you’ll only have one first love. So, this love is more memorable than the others because they introduced you to so many new feelings and experiences in life. No one will ever be able to take that away from you no matter who else you end up with.
- Love changes you. Love literally changes you forever. According to Cambridge Brain Sciences, how your brain functions is altered when you fall in love. Even if you break up or fall out of love, your brain never returns to how it was before. So, that initial experience of love is always going to be memorable because it’s essentially a vital part of who you are.
- It happened during a memorable time. Have you ever wondered why people still reminisce about high school years after graduating and seem to remember small details like it happened yesterday? It turns out our strongest memories are made between the ages of 10 to 30. So, given that most people fall in love for the first time within those years, it makes sense why that relationship sticks with you.
- It’s a milestone. Milestones and rites of passage are a big deal. And falling in love is a major milestone. Your first love also comes with other firsts like your first serious relationship or your first time having sex, so you can’t forget your first love when they were part of so many important moments in your life.
- It’s usually pure. When we’re young, we generally tend to date just because we like someone. When you get older, you have to consider if they fit into your life plans or if they have baggage you’re not willing to take on. This first relationship was so special in the sense that there was nothing to gain from it and you had no ulterior motives at the time. You and your first real connection might have had every intention of staying together at the time and made what you thought were serious plans to get married one day or move in together, but because of the time in your life, these relationships typically happened; there really wasn’t any real pressure. You’ve never been able to be so carefree since.
- It was the first time you were loved so deeply. Being loved by a partner and being loved by family aren’t the same. After all, our families love us because we’re family, so it’s unconditional. Romantic love is more than lust and infatuation; it’s more tender and real. So, the first time someone really cares so deeply is hard to forget because it’s when someone finally saw you for you and fell for you anyway.
- It was a step towards growing up. Most people are pretty young when they fall in love for the first time, so it’s a pretty big step forward. You might look back and think it was all immature and childish, but at the time, it was the most grown-up thing you ever did, which makes it hard to forget. After falling in love for the first time, your subsequent relationships will be more mature. Gone are the days of holding hands with a boy for three weeks and breaking up over text.