It’s freezing outside, you’re overeating, and you feel more single than ever. Hello, holiday season! The worst part about this time of year is seeing your relatives and being asked the same question: “Why are you single?” Aunts, uncles, and grandparents love to suggest there’s something wrong with being on your own, but instead of wallowing in self-pity, say one of these 11 things the next time someone asks about your relationship status.
- Thank Them For Their Concern. Honesty is the best policy, right? Instead of getting pissed off, consider the fact your family is asking because they love and care about you. They want you to be happy and find someone you can build a life with. I know the question can be annoying and make you defensive, but remember it’s coming from a good place. Thank them for their concern and let them know you’re very happy being single right now.
- Change The Subject. When your relatives ask why you’re single, talk about something else. Ask about their children or the new couch they just bought. Trust me, once you redirect the conversation to them, they’ll be too busy talking about themselves to come back to you. But of course, this also means you have to spend an hour talking about your cousin’s extracurricular activities.
- Educate Them On The Topic. Most of your relatives are probably significantly older than you, which means they were around during a time when dating wasn’t as much of a challenge. Let them know the struggle of finding love as a millennial. Hit them with the facts. Statistically speaking, over half of Americans between 18-34 aren’t in a serious relationship. Do they think you’re the only single person in the world? Make sure they know you’re not!
- Give A Sassy Response. Some people just won’t shut up. No matter how many times you answer this question, they keep asking. It’s like they want to embarrass you. If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to get sassy. Say something like, “I’m just too awesome to be tied down to one person” and leave it at that.
- Be Honest. There’s nothing wrong with being single, so you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You don’t have to lie to your relatives for their benefit. Let them know you’ve been dating but haven’t found anyone worthy of your time and commitment. It is what it is. And honestly, they should accept your realness and get off your back.
- Let Them Know The Benefits. Being single means you can sleep in an entire bed by yourself. You can watch Netflix naked and eat an excessive amount of pizza without anyone judging you. You don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of first dates or the rejection of not hearing back from someone you really like. There are so many positives to being single and you should remind your relatives of them.
- Deflect With Your Accomplishments. Do they want to know why you’re single? They won’t care about your relationship status once you inform them of your career accomplishments. While other people were getting married, you were getting promotions. You’re an independent person who can stand on their own two feet without assistance. That’s something they should be proud of!
- Ask About Their Marriage. “Why am I single? Why are you married?” It’s a valid question. Married people are the first ones to ask about someone else’s relationship status while they remain in a loveless marriage. It’s kind of crazy, to be honest. That’s why you should flip the script and let them take the hot seat.
- Let Them Know Your Past. Did you just get out of a long-term relationship? Let your relatives know what’s up. Right now, you’re in the process of mending your broken heart, which takes time. Let them know you’re working on building yourself up so you can eventually be ready to love someone again.
- Pretend To Be Curious. Sure, they’re the ones asking questions but you can ask questions, too. When they ask why you’re single, ask if they have anyone they could set you up with. What do you have to lose? At worst, they’ll get uncomfortable and change the subject. At best, they’ll actually hook you up with a potentially great person.
- Don’t Show Up To Dinner. At the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for you. And if that means skipping holiday dinners so you can avoid being verbally assaulted and triggered by your relatives, then so be it! Family is important but so is your mental health. There’s nothing braver than having the self-awareness to know when you need to avoid a situation.
