Some people just can’t hack it in relationships. It’s not that they don’t care about the person they’re with or that they hate commitment. They just get really bored when things settle down and become more routine. If that sounds like you, here are a few things you can do to work your way towards something long-term for once.
Be honest with your new partner.
If you meet someone new, let them know that you have a bad habit of flaking when things tone down a little. They might not choose to date you with this information, but it’ll save them a lot of hurt later on when they assume you vanished based on something they did. Honesty is the sexiest trait, and if you’re truthful and open about what you’re like, you’re actually more prone to make changes.
Be more in-depth when getting to know someone.
From the very first date, see if this person has the potential to be a long-term partner. Just don’t tell them that’s what you’re doing—it may rub them the wrong way. If you actually see some sort of future in the very beginning, you’ll be more likely to try and make it work. If you’re not blown away by the guy, maybe it’s just best that you don’t waste his time or yours when the relationship is bound to crumble.
Consider being single for a while.
You’ll want to love yourself before you try to love someone else long term, sure. But being single is a great chance to discover new hidden hobbies and activities that you may not have gotten into if you’ve been constantly tied down. The more interests you have, the more you can explore with your partner. It’ll also make you realize that even if you’re in a relationship where you’re not going out as much, you can still go out by yourself and have a decent time.
Take it as a challenge to think up fun dates.
Date ideas are endless. If you think that things are becoming a little too dull, consider taking your guy out for ax throwing or go to an escape room. You can even plan a weekend trip to a crazy destination. If you like him, you’re partially responsible for keeping things fun.
Find someone who’s looking for an open relationship.
Maybe you’ve always been exclusive with your partners since you think that open relationships are wrong. Why? Is it because your parents didn’t have one? Having the freedom to stray while still being “faithful” to your partner may be just what you need to keep things spicy. Plus, there are plenty of guys out there who’d be fine with the arrangement.
See a therapist.
If you know that you’re the one with the issue in the relationship and keep kicking yourself for letting go of good men based on temporary boredom, there’s no shame in talking about it with someone. Maybe this pattern stems from something else from your history that needs to be solved. Going to therapy or talking it out with someone, can really change your whole perspective on dating and partnership.
When you’re in a relationship, make time for yourself.
One of the reasons you might be getting bored is that you may be burning out. Remember, you don’t need to do everything as a couple. Find a guy who won’t get suspicious if you need to take a quick solo vacation to recharge your batteries. By having fun and taking a breath outside of the relationship, you’ll be a lot less antsy.
Treat every date like your first.
Sometimes, it’s all about playing mental games—not games that’ll hurt him, but games that’ll spice up your relationship. Even if you’re going out to Applebees for lunch six months into the relationship, make a point to dress up and have it feel special. By treating every date like it’s your first, you’ll have a lot more fun.
Join a club together.
It could be as simple as a meet-up group that goes to the movies together. By letting someone else take control of your outings for once, you may end up making a bunch of new mutual friends. If it’s something like a book club, the two of you will always find something new to talk about and possibly debate. The best part about activities like this is that they usually require low commitment — so if it’s not working out, you can try to schedule your time another way.
Remind yourself that boredom happens in every relationship.
Even the best relationships include a few boring moments, so if you’ve been dumping guys after three months since you’ve been getting restless, remind yourself that it’s possible that you just didn’t connect with that guy. With your next relationship, take a long pause the second you’re getting bored and ask yourself if you really do like him or if he’s just not totally your type.
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