When a guy you like keeps pushing you away, it leaves you in a constant state of wonder. You wonder what he’s thinking, if he really cares about you, or if wants you gone. How can you be there for him through tough times if he won’t let you? You start feeling insecure, anxious, and even afraid of where the relationship is headed. Instead of endlessly freaking out, here are things you can do in this situation.
- Figure out why he’s pulling away. There are many reasons why this could be happening. He might be under a lot of stress, feeling overwhelmed, or dealing with mental health problems and other issues. Or maybe he’s falling in love with you and trying to resist those emotions. Rather than making assumptions about his actions, ask him about it directly. The answer may be something you can fix.
- Let him talk openly about his feelings. Give him a chance to air his thoughts without getting defensive, taking offense, or making the situation about you. Tell him that you notice he’s pulling away and let him know you’re available to listen to his side. If it’s an issue he feels uncomfortable talking with you about, encourage him to confide in close friends or family members so they can help him process whatever he’s going through. Talking it out is always better than holding it all in.
- Tell him you’ll be there for him no matter what. Maybe he’s pushing you away because he feels you’ll think less of him or that you won’t understand if he opens up to you about what’s going on. He might not be ready to share now or he might even be worried about upsetting you. In such a case, letting him know that you’re always there for him and you want to help will make him more comfortable with bringing you into the loop.
- Give him space to get his act together. No one likes being suffocated with attention no matter how well-intentioned it is. Sure, you love him, but that’s no reason to try to spend every waking moment with him. You might think that holding him too tightly will keep him from straying, but it usually has the opposite effect. Back off a little and give him the space he needs. Stop constantly chasing after him and let him miss you.
- Don’t reward his bad attitude. Sometimes when a guy pushes you away, it’s because he’s a player who enjoys seeing how much power he can wield over you. Or maybe he’s a drama queen who’s trying to manipulate you into acting the way he wants. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you’re affected by his actions. Ignore his moods rather than trying to appease him. If he sees that his tactic isn’t working, he’ll learn to behave better with you.
- Do some honest reflecting. You might be doing something that’s making your boyfriend or that guy you like push you away. Maybe you get angry easily or you’re too critical and overbearing. Take a good look at yourself. Is there anything you’re doing that might have contributed to the distance he’s creating between you? If yes, work on changing them so he won’t feel the need to be apart from you.
- Spend the time away bettering yourself. Rather than worrying about why he’s acting this way, focus on yourself. Continue living your life normally. Go after the things that make you happy. Try to enjoy yourself. He’s not the center of your life or your only source of happiness. Let him figure out whatever is going on while you just focus on becoming healthier and more fulfilled emotionally and physically.
- Remember that their actions have nothing to do with you. Most of the time, the reason he’s pushing you away has absolutely nothing to do with you. Sure, it feels personal and it’s easy to assume it’s your fault, but you need to fight that feeling. At the end of the day, you’re not responsible for his actions. Be open and supportive if he has a legitimate reason for acting that way and try not to feel like you brought this on yourself.
- Wish him well and walk away. If you’ve tried your best to give him the benefit of doubt or help him through what he’s going through and he still keeps pushing you away, it might be time to call it quits. Walk away. If he doesn’t come chasing after you, wish him well and move on with your life. There’s someone out there who’s more deserving of you.
