You sent a guy a funny message you just knew would make him laugh but he never replied. And it’s not just this text that’s been left on read – he’s no longer texting you, period. It’s alarming because you were starting on something really good with this guy but now he’s fading you out or ghosting you. What’s going on? Take a deep breath and read this. Here’s how to deal when a guy stops texting you.
Stop beating yourself up.
It’s easy to start thinking you did something wrong that made him stop texting you. Maybe you were too pushy or clingy or too much or too funny or whatever. Honestly? It’s BS. Whatever’s going on has nothing to do with you.
Wait it out for a bit.
You’ve been chatting a lot in recent days, but maybe your last message or two were ignored. Now’s not the time to send three more in the hope that this will make him want to text you. It might have the opposite effect. Just imagine how you’d feel if the guy was blasting you with text after text. It can be overwhelming, so take a bit of a step back.
Remember he’ll probably text in the end.
If you’ve been in a good texting routine lately, with some fired-up textual chemistry to boot, there’s no reason why he should go off the map. Maybe he’s out of data or he’s busy or whatever. You don’t need to speculate on what could be going on with him. Not yet, anyway. Wait it out for a day or so and see if and when he resurfaces. He might just bounce back into his normal texting routine and all of this will be forgotten. Just because a guy stops texting doesn’t means he’ll never message again.
Send a totally casual text.
Maybe you’ve waited for a day or two and he still hasn’t texted you anything. If you guys were chatting all the time and are comfortable with each other, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t send him a text. However, keep it light. Say hi and see what he’s been up to or mention something funny that happened in your day. See what happens. This is still the “benefit of the doubt” stage. If he’s decent, he’ll apologize for rudely leaving you on read for the last few days and show you that he’s keen to chat and get to know you more.
Or, contact him in a different way.
If you suspect that maybe he’s not using his phone or getting your messages, then you should consider getting in touch in another way, like by sending him a message on social media or via email. This strategy forms part of covering all your bases so that you can see if he’s still around or if he’s avoiding you completely. Just avoid sending him tons of messages on all platforms. It might be a tad too much.
Do something else.
Seriously, the last thing you want to do right now is stare at your phone or obsess every time someone texts, thinking that it’s him. There’s this weird thing that happens when you wait around for someone – they take their sweet-ass time to get back to you. When you do something else and put your energy elsewhere, it’s like they can sense it and that’s when you’ll, strangely, hear from them. So, distract yourself and do you. Don’t wait around for him.
Now’s not the time for risqué texts.
Although you might think sending him a boob shot will be a great way to get him to answer you, it’s not a good idea. Why should you have to try to sell yourself to him or pique his interest in you? Come on, you’re better than that. You shouldn’t have jump through hoops to get him to talk to you or realize that you still exist.
Look back for signs.
Sometimes we miss the crucial signs that someone’s slowly fading out of the relationship. Now’s a good time to look back over your time with this guy to see if there were any red flags. That will show you that his text disappearing act isn’t something that’s happened out of the blue. Maybe he was never really going to commit to you in the first place.
Should you ask him what’s up?
When he goes AWOL, it might make you angry. Why would he stop texting you like that? What is going on? You don’t deserve such treatment. You might feel that you have nothing to lose if he has ghosted you, so you might as well ask him straight up why he disappeared. If that’s your style, go for it. At the very least, it would be good to get some closure – and see if he’s man enough to tell you what’s going on.
Remember, it’s nothing personal.
Okay, it does feel personal when a guy stops texting you out of the blue. You might worry that he just doesn’t like you anymore or something you did put him off. But honestly? Chances are that he’s got his own issues and he’s ghosting you because of those things. It’s worth remembering that with the right person nothing you do could put them off. So, maybe this guy just wasn’t the right person you need in your life.
Give yourself a grieving deadline.
How long will you give this guy your thoughts and energy before moving on? A few days? A week? Two weeks? Set yourself a deadline after which you decide to move on and forget all about him. If he doesn’t care enough about you to be a part of your life and send you a damn text, he doesn’t deserve anything from you.
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