Unless you’re sending 15 messages in a row without response, texting is a good way to let someone know you’re interested in them. But what happens when you meet someone new who suddenly ghosts you via text? Sadly, it happens more often than you think. Here’s what to do if a guy stops texting you out of the blue.
- Check his other social media. It’s important to see if he’s active on other networks. Chances are, he is. That means that he’s capable of getting your texts and just chooses not to respond. That can be a little hurtful. One final text might be good for you just to get some closure. Something like, “Well, guess you’re not interested anymore. It was great talking, hope you’re well!” is a good way to end things without completely burning a bridge, just in case he actually has a good reason for ignoring you. If he’s not active on any sort of network, you might want to make sure he’s doing okay. It’s possible something happened that has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
- Look back and see if you might have insulted him. There are some things that are complete red flags for guys. Have you been chatting a little too much about your insecurities? Or, maybe you just seem a little too hung up on your ex. It’s rude for him to ghost, especially if you’ve been chatting for a long time. Still, it’s important to reflect on what may have caused it. Be a little critical on yourself here since it’ll help you improve for the future.
- Don’t obsess too much about it. If you did blatantly say something mean, you should apologize but that’s it. Don’t go out of your way to thoroughly analyze your texts. Guys aren’t as complex as women are, so he’s probably not reading between the lines the way you are. Chances are, you’re a kind and wonderful person. Don’t beat yourself up or let this destroy your confidence.
- Figure out if he had a girlfriend. There’s a good chance this guy wasn’t as single as you thought. It’s possible his girlfriend realized he was texting you, and forced him to shut it down. That’s a bummer from your perspective if you really liked this guy, but really, it’s a blessing in disguise. If he thinks it’s cool to cheat, he would have cheated on you too after things became official.
- Don’t contact any other girls that may be active on his social media. Unless the two of you were straight up in an official relationship, trying to figure things out by stalking his profile and questioning other women will make you look a little too invested. If it seems like he’s being flirty online, it may just be part of his personality. Guys like this can be great, but they aren’t the best boyfriends. Unless you’re comfortable with an open relationship, you need to trust his ability to commit.
- Re-evaluate your relationship. Were you really going anywhere or did you build it all up in your head? It’s not healthy to look back at the entire chain of your text unless it was very short. But, it is possible that you were reading into it more than he was. Figure out if he was actually being flirty. Maybe he realized you got the wrong idea and stopped texting since he didn’t want to have an awkward conversation about it.
- Remind yourself how you feel right now. Some guys are just bad with texts. They get into a good pattern for a while but then forget about keeping up their side of the conversation. How does that make you feel? If things ever do get serious with this guy, he’s prone to do it again. Can you handle a relationship like that? If you think you’re prone to taking his silences seriously, consider this to be a red flag for you.
- Move on. This is a hard step, but it’s really important. It’s 2020. If this guy wanted to keep chatting with you, he’d find a way. You don’t want to increase his ego by trying to keep texting him for a response back. Instead, just ignore him and move forward. There are plenty of guys out there who won’t flake on you when things are just starting up. He might come back with an excuse down the road, but for now? Move on.