What To Do When He Hasn’t Texted You In Days

First, the much-anticipated “good morning” text doesn’t come. You were the last one to message him and you want to play it cool, so double-texting is totally off the table, right? Well, now it’s been a whole 72 hours since you’ve heard from him and you’re starting to sweat. Here are 8 things you can do when he hasn’t texted you in days and you’re starting to think you’ve been ghosted.

  1. Just ask him. Yup, you read it right. You could just break the mobile silence yourself and dare to commit the dreaded faux pas of double-texting. Men are weird and you never know what the delay in response could be about. Maybe he got in his feelings and had some self-doubt about whether you were into him and needed reassurance that it was okay to reach back out. Maybe he genuinely got busy and is a bad texter. I’m not saying blow his phone up like a stage 5 clinger, but sometimes it’s best to just be direct and assertive.
  2. Be honest about your communication preferences. I mean, chances are you’ll hear from him eventually. So, what happens then? You could just let it go and continue the convo when it opens back up. But, the behavior you allow is most likely going to keep happening. If you prefer to be in touch more often than being on his time and not knowing when you’ll connect, you should let him know that. If nothing changes after you make known your wishes, then you know he’s not serious and playing games.
  3. Make sure he’s OK. If it’s not like him to go silent you may want to make sure all is well on his end before you just go in. Although in most circumstances he should still be able to check-in and at least give you a heads up that he’s going to be off the grid due to an emergency or obligation. Falling off the map without a word when you’re talking to someone is generally kind of rude and I wouldn’t give him much room to make a lame excuse for it.
  4. Keep living your life. One-sided relationships are tired. If he expects you to be the one to put in the effort to maintain regular communication, this is how it’s always going to be. If there’s no actual title, you’re not obligated to anything. Just continue to do you. If someone else wants to talk to you, you’re free to chat if he’s not going to be the one to occupy your time. If he pops up eventually and you still want to talk to him, then run with that, too. If you don’t need answers, then don’t sweat it and let what happens happen.
  5. Do some detective work. I’m not saying you should use Find My iPhone to hide outside his place in the bushes or anything, but how much do you know about him if you’re not sure why you haven’t heard back from him? Are you sure he’s not secretly married or in another relationship on the days he’s not reaching out to you? Any suspect behavior is a call for an investigation. I would do some light social media digging or ask around a bit and see what you uncover.
  6. Block him. This may sound extreme, but what does your intuition tell you is going on? If you feel like he’s playing games, then wipe your hands clean of him and move on. Do you want to be that girl who jumps up when she hears her phone notification, only to be disappointed when it’s not him again? And then when he does reach out it’s past 10 PM and all he says is “what’s up”  or “hey?” If it looks like that’s the situation you walked into with him, just slam the short message service door in his face and leave him wondering on the other side.
  7. Do nothing. If you haven’t been talking long it may not be a big deal. Even if you have been established it could also just be that he’s comfortable with the relationship dynamic you both have and got busy. You could just leave it alone and get back up with him whenever. Or maybe he never texts you again and that’s that. If you practice the art of detachment, then letting things flow will relieve you of the disappointment attached to having expectations.
  8. Call him. If anything it will solve the question of whether or not his phone still works. Some people still prefer to talk over text and this may be a better way to reach him. Even if he seemed like he was on his texting game at first, he may have just been getting out of his comfort zone to try to get your attention. If he’s not really into the text thing, the aversion is going to catch up to him eventually. Just give him a ring and let him know he was on your mind- you may be pleasantly surprised.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer