What To Do When Your Ex Ignores You

Breakups tend to bring out the worst in people. While you might have gotten along so well with your ex while you were dating, it’s not uncommon for things to turn sour once the relationship is over. You’d like to stay friendly and have tried reaching out to them but get nothing but radio silence in return. Here’s what to do when your ex ignores you.

1. Make self-love a priority. Being ignored by someone you used to love, or still love, can really hurt. So you need to give yourself the love and validation you’re not getting from your ex. The top thing to do is refuse to allow your ex’s behavior to make you feel small or unworthy. They might be ignoring you for any reason under the sun, but know that it’s not because you’re not lovable. It’s important to practice self-love so you don’t forget that. Be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up, and treat yourself. Make your own happiness and wellbeing a priority.
2. Invest in yourself. There’s never a better time for investing in yourself than when your ex starts to ignore you. This pulls the focus away from your ex and puts it back to where it should be: on yourself. Take the time out to work on your goals. Put the work in to ensure that you get to where you want to be, whether that’s in your career, with your body and health, or in another area. The good thing about being single is that you finally have the time to care about yourself only, so take it.
3. Don’t keep trying to talk to them. If your ex is ignoring you, don’t make it worse by continuously trying to talk to them and then having to deal with the rejection. Keep your dignity and accept that they don’t want to talk to you. As hard as it is to take, know that you won’t die if they ignore you. Ultimately, you don’t need them to talk to you. Take the high road and accept that this is how it’s going to be for a while.
4. Avoid the temptation to be petty. Speaking of taking the high road, avoid the temptation to be petty. It might not seem fair that they’re ignoring you, so it’s natural to feel like you want to do something to hurt them back. But stooping to their level won’t make you feel better about yourself. If you talk badly about your ex to mutual friends, you’ll end up looking like the bitter one. Don’t beg them to talk to you, but also don’t retaliate because they’re not. Just carry on with your life, regardless of how they’re treating you.
5. Try to avoid places where you know they’ll be. When someone is ignoring you, it’s super awkward to run into them. It will be easier if you can avoid seeing each other face-to-face, at least until things cool down. You obviously can’t avoid people forever, and in some cases, avoiding them is not possible. But do what you can within your control to reduce the time you spend around them. Instead, fill your life up with other people and things that make you feel good.
6. Delete them from social media. If they haven’t already deleted you first, it can be a good idea to delete your ex from social media. This way, you’re not tempted to reach out to them. It can also save you from feeling sad when you look at their profile and remember how things have ended up between you.
7. Accept that they may have moved on. There are several reasons why your ex might be ignoring you, and one of them is that they’ve moved on. Perhaps they want to start fresh and don’t want reminders of the past hanging around. So it’s important to accept that your ex might have moved on. This can be hard to absorb if you were hoping the icy feelings would blow over and you might get back together with your ex one day. But by accepting it, you don’t set yourself up to be disappointed later on. And as painful as it is to hear that your ex has moved on, you will be okay. The first step is just taking it in.
8. Keep your friends close. Losing an ex in your life can also mean losing your biggest source of support. So invest in the other important relationships in your life. Don’t hesitate to lean on your friends if you need them. Nurture your relationships with your friends and family so you do have a support system in place. It also helps to have good people around you to cheer you up when you’re feeling down about your ex.
9. Start dating. Dating again can be a great way to deal with your ex ignoring you. If you’re ready to get back out there, this will give you another focus besides your ex. And it will hopefully remind you that it doesn’t matter if your ex isn’t talking to you, because there are so many other fish in the sea!

Why your ex ignores you in the first place

You know how to handle the situation, but the question is why it’s happening at all. You thought you ended things on good enough terms but that’s clearly not the case. Try not to take it too personally — there could be a solid explanation.

1. They’re trying to get over you. There’s a reason the no contact rule is so popular and so vital after a breakup. That’s because while your ex is still a part of your daily life, you’re never going to be able to truly close the book on your relationship and move on. When your ex ignores you, it could be that they’re just trying to give themself the best chance of getting over you. Hell, they might even have you blocked so they’re not getting your messages.
2. They don’t want to say anything hurtful or mean. If things ended somewhat acrimoniously, it’s possible that they’re still holding on to some hurt and anger from the relationship that they haven’t processed or gotten over yet. They don’t want to talk to you because they’re aware that they’re likely to take it out on you and possibly say unnecessary things that they don’t mean. This is actually them doing you a solid.
3. They’re seeing someone else. Of course, maybe your ex ignores you now because they’ve already moved on to a new relationship (or maybe it was already going on while you were still together). In that situation, it’s doubtful that their new partner will take kindly to them chatting away to their previous one.
4. They don’t feel like dredging up the past. What’s done is done, so what’s the point in dragging it all up again? It’s possible that they don’t want to talk since they know the conversation will inevitably turn to your relationship. Whether good or bad, they don’t really want to take steps backward when they’re desperately trying to look ahead. Respect those wishes.
5. They don’t want you to think there’s a chance of a reunion. If you’re the one that got dumped and you’d be more than happy to try again, it’s very likely that your ex ignores you because they have no intention of getting back together with you. They don’t want to talk to you because they worry it might lead you on and make you think that a reunion is on the cards when it most definitely isn’t. It’s probably time to stop reaching out altogether.