What To Look For In A Relationship: 10 Things Happy Couples Need

In the era of dating apps, single people are presented with so much choice when it comes to relationship options (although it doesn’t always feel like it!), Truly, the hard part is knowing what you’re looking for so you can weed out all the unsuitable options. Read on for 10 things you should be looking for in a relationship.

  1. Safety and security It’s difficult for a couple to last together very long if they don’t make each other feel safe and secure. Relationship safety means different things to different people, but it often involves trusting that person with your wellbeing. Not in the sense that they have to take care of you, but that they won’t do anything to hurt you, physically or emotionally. Relationship security, on the other hand, is about trusting in your relationship and not feeling like it will be taken from you at any minute.
  2. Trust Trust is one of the most important things to look for in a relationship. For many people, the absence of trust is a deal-breaker. Trusting your partner involves a lot of things, including believing in their promises and knowing that they have your best interest at heart. If you can’t trust your partner because they have a history of lying to you or not being reliable, it’s a pretty strong red flag.
  3. Common ground For the majority of people, common ground is an important trait for a relationship to have. That’s not to say that you and your partner have to agree on everything and share all the same interests. But if you have absolutely nothing in common and don’t agree on anything, what is your relationship based on? When the moments of passion have passed, what are you going to talk about? The best relationships begin as friendships because of mutual respect and common ground. It’s about more than just loving each other. You actually have to like each other.
  4. Empathy Couples don’t have to agree all the time. But the more they understand each other, the better. Any love will be stronger if there’s empathy and understanding between you. For example, you might not agree with your partner’s need to please her parents, but you should try to understand where she’s coming from. Empathy is about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes rather than judging them.
  5. Acceptance The happiest couples accept each other for who they are. Each person should feel like they’re enough as they are. If your partner makes you feel like you’re not good enough, that’s a red flag. Acceptance isn’t about being okay with poor treatment or betraying your standards. But it is about acknowledging that your partner is only human and not expecting more from them than that.
  6. Chemistry Sometimes, a relationship looks perfect on paper but doesn’t work out in real life. More often than not, a lack of chemistry is to blame. Put simply, that’s the unspoken connection that two people share which surpasses logic and reason. Chemistry is a natural phenomenon that’s either there or not. If you don’t have chemistry with someone, you just won’t be able to form a strong bond with them.
  7. A united direction Again for the people in the back, a couple doesn’t have to agree on every single thing in life. But one of the things that they should agree on? Where they’re going in life. When you start having different ideas about what you want out of life, major obstacles are heading for the relationship. A classic example is one person eager to settle down and have kids and the other being averse to having children instead of craving a life of parties and jet-setting.
  8. Mutual support Happy couples support each other. When you pursue a goal and put yourself out there to get it, your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. And when you are going through a rough time, your partner should be there for you to lean on. Support can come in many different forms, but all of them will give you the sense that this person has your back.
  9. Selflessness Most if not all relationships require a little selflessness. This comes in the form of compromise. Basically, that’s where you do things that are inconvenient for you for the sake of your partner. It’s putting your partner before yourself. Assuming that both people are equally willing to compromise, this selflessness paves the way for a very happy relationship.
  10. Independence There’s space for selflessness in a relationship, but it’s not the be-all-and-end-all. You don’t give up on taking care of yourself and expect your partner to do it while you focus all your energy on them. The best relationships also foster independence. No matter how happily in love you are, you’re still your own person with your own identity. You still matter. Your needs are still important and you should still have the freedom to be who you are. Any relationship that doesn’t allow you to do that should be rethought.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.