What To Say When People Won’t Stop Asking When You’ll Get Married

If you’re in a relationship and you’ve been with your S.O. for ages, chances are you’ve been asked the same obnoxious question over and over: “When will you get married?” Obviously this is no one’s business but yours and your boyfriends, but people don’t seem to get that. Here are a few responses the next time those fateful words are uttered:

  1. “After everybody stops asking.”If the inquisitor is just an acquaintance or someone you really don’t know all that well, you can always use this response to get your point across. This will surely shut them up.
  2. “After you’ve given birth to your baby.”This is a winning (albeit kinda mean) response if you’re asked by a married but childless woman. You’ll be surprised by how quickly the conversation will change from your reasons for not being married to her reasons for not having a baby yet.
  3. “We already did. You weren’t invited, though.”While this may seem like a bit cruel response, it’s effective. Just remember to use this answer with caution and only when the situation really calls for it. For example, if the asker is a former friend or former boyfriend. They’ll definitely regret asking you in the first place.
  4. “Oh! I didn’t know that you’re invested in our relationship until now.”Perfect comeback to friends who are obviously asking the question for the sake of making the point that you’re not married yet and you may never be. This response is best delivered with sarcasm showing all over your face and in the tone of your voice.
  5. “Thanks for asking that question! We were actually counting how many people will ask us until we reached the 1000th person. You’re the 500th person to ask, so 500 more and we’ll get married!” A bit long-winded, but it’ll absolutely make the inquisitor feel bad (or at least awkward) for asking. Watch out for their reaction. It will be priceless!
  6. “I appreciate you being excited for our future together as a couple, but we’ve only been together for 15 years. What’s the rush?” Deliver this response with a plain, serious, and normal face for best results. Their jaw should drop with both eyebrows raised in wonder whether you’ve been together for that long.
  7. “Love isn’t perfected with a trip down the aisle.”Then walk away slowly while wearing a downcast face, as if you’re pondering what you just said.
  8. “Our wedding announcement will be on live television tonight. Make sure you tune in!”Pretend that you’re really excited so you can pull off this response.
  9. “In three days.”Keep a straight face as you watch the asker feel shocked that you have a date set. Continue to keep a resting normal face as they wonder why they weren’t invited.
  10. “Oh! So you’ll take care of all our wedding expenses? Thank you so much! You’re the one we’ve been waiting for!” Then go on to discuss the details of the one-of-a-kind of marriage you have in mind and why you think it’s so worth it regardless of the inquisitor’s protests.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.