You’re out at a bar or browsing a bookstore when you see a hot guy. He’s not wearing a ring and he smiled when he caught your eye a minute ago, so you decide to make a move because you aren’t afraid of rejection. You walk over, open your mouth, and say hello—what’s his reaction? However he responds, it’ll tell you a lot about his personality.
- If he’s insulted: Sadly, there are a lot of men out there who think that women just shouldn’t make the first move ever. Although it’s been the norm for hundreds of years for guys to take charge, women shouldn’t have to be afraid to ask a guy out! If he reacts poorly, he’s definitely not the guy for you. Who wants to date some guy that get that worked up about something so innocent? You should nope on out of there and count yourself lucky that he showed his true colors so early.
- If he’s angry: Seriously? If you’ve ever had a guy get mad at you doing something traditionally male, time to GTFO. Just because you volunteer to pay for dinner or hold open a door for your guy shouldn’t make him angry or upset. If he gets angry at something like you asking him out, he’ll get mad over a lot of other things too. I guarantee it.
- If he no longer seems interested: It takes a confident, independent woman to break with tradition and just ask a guy out. Some men just can’t handle strong ladies who take their future and their dating life into their own hands. They don’t want a partner, they want a 1950s housewife. If they can’t handle you, they don’t deserve you. Go find you a guy that isn’t afraid to have an equal partner in life.
- If he’s enthusiastic: This is my favorite reaction. When I asked my husband over for the first time, this was his reaction. It told me everything I needed to know about him. He wasn’t intimidated by my independence or my straight-forwardness. I think his enthusiasm is part of the reason we work so well together. Find a guy who isn’t afraid of you or your confidence.
- If he’s shocked: Shock is a pretty common response, to be honest. Most men don’t even consider the possibility that a girl might ask them out someday; perhaps they were raised around traditional gender roles and don’t expect anyone to act outside of them. However, this is more of an orange-colored flag than a red one. If your guy is shocked but seems willing to give you a try, he’s still open to learning new things. Don’t be afraid of giving him a chance.
- If he’s not quite sure what to make of it: This is another almost red flag. Either he is intimidated by your spirit or he may just be wary of dating someone who comes off so “masculine.” Don’t let him make you feel bad for taking the first step. If your guy seems a little intimidated, he may be shy but he also just may be making all sorts of weird judgments based on how women are “supposed to act.”
- If he looks a little too pleased: Beware! If you make the first move and he suddenly looks like a cat that got into the milk, he might think you’re easy. Confident and independent women are sometimes wrongly labeled. If your guy starts to look at you like a piece of meat, he’ll most likely treat you as one. If you’re just looking for a one-night stand, then go get it! If you’re looking for something more, remember that this guy already seems to have a low opinion of you for speaking first.
- If he seems embarrassed: It takes an insecure man to be embarrassed when a woman asks him out on a date, right? Not necessarily. If you ask him out and he seems a little embarrassed or a little intimidated, you may just have found a shy or introverted one. Don’t give up! Just because he’s shy doesn’t mean he’d make a bad date; in fact, in my experience, the exact opposite is true. Don’t let a little embarrassment get between you and what could be a great date.
- If he just seems happy: Good for you! You most likely found the true feminist male that really wants and equal partner. Enthusiastic and happy, this guy has no qualms about accepting your attention. If you’ve never dated a guy that truly wants to be your equal, you’re in for a great time.