Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and I fully believe that no one (or almost no one!) is 100% gay or straight. However, there seems to be more of a stigma when it comes to men being bisexual than there is for women, and that creates a lot of misunderstanding and prejudice. If you’re more open-minded and find yourself dating a bisexual guy, here’s what you should know about your new guy and what the relationship will be like.
- He may struggle to be open about his sexuality at first. You may not even realize you’re dating a bisexual guy at first because he could be hesitant to tell you. If this is the case, it’s likely because he’s faced a lot of negativity or even disgust about it from previous partners, family members, or other people in his circle. If he feels safe enough with you and trusts you enough to open up about this part of his life with you, consider yourself lucky.
- He may watch gay porn sometimes – that’s okay. If you happen to notice (or he tells you) that he occasionally watches and enjoys gay porn, don’t freak out. This doesn’t mean he’s not into you or doesn’t like having sex with you – it just means that’s something he finds attractive. Many people have various sexual interests that don’t negate their current relationships. Try not to be judgmental.
- Your friends will probably have something snarky to say. Because there’s still a stigma around bisexual men, even your close friends might have something to say about it. They might claim that he’s only going to dump you when he realizes he only likes men or ask if you’re okay sleeping with someone who’s slept with other men. Stick up for the guy you’re dating and shut down their homophobic BS. He deserves respect and love just like anyone else and his sexuality doesn’t take away from that.
- It might make him a better lover. If you’re interested in trying out some more unconventional activities in the bedroom, dating a bisexual guy can be a positive in this way. He might be a bit more open-minded and willing to try different things including pegging or other fetish play. Of course, as usual, consent is paramount and you shouldn’t assume that he’s into anything just because of his sexuality. As always, communication is key.
- No, he’s not pretending to be bisexual when he’s really gay. This is one of the most harmful (not to mention the most obnoxious) things that bisexual men hear all the time in dating. Is there a chance that he may one day realize that he’s gay? Sure, anything is possible. However, bisexuality is a valid experience and it’s not anyone’s place, not even yours, to question it. If you can’t accept him as he is, you shouldn’t be dating him.
- It’s not really all that different from dating a straight guy. At the end of the day, love is love. If you don’t make his sexuality a big deal, he probably won’t either and you can get on with the good stuff of being happy together.
