What’s With The Gentleman Obsession? I Want A Guy Who’s Rough Around The Edges

What’s With The Gentleman Obsession? I Want A Guy Who’s Rough Around The Edges ©iStock/Pefostudio

Lots of women out there want a “perfect gentleman” to sweep them off their feet. On the surface, I definitely understand how a guy who pulls out chairs and buys bouquets of roses “just because” would be appealing, but this is why I’d rather have a man who isn’t a picture-perfect boyfriend:

  1. It’s usually just an act. When I think of the word “gentleman”, I picture a guy with perfect manners, good intentions, and the type of personality that my parents would adore. The fact is, though, those types of guys rarely exist in today’s day and age. There’s tons of guys that can pull off the gentlemanly act, but deep down they’re just as flawed as the next guy. I’d rather get to know someone on a real level than wait for the act to fade away.
  2. I want a guy who’s been through some crap. I’ve been through my share of seriously life-altering experiences, and I want the guy I end up with to have had his own. If a guy is rough around the edges or less conventional than the ‘gentleman’ stereotype, I’ll see that as a good sign that he’s had life experiences that have helped shape who he is.
  3. It’s just more interesting. I don’t want to be with a person that can’t or won’t push my buttons on occasion. It’s just way too vanilla for me. I need someone that’s going to challenge me, even if they’re not meaning to, because perfect doesn’t exist. And if it did, everyone would die of boredom.
  4. Rugged is damn sexy. A guy who’s always cleaned up just isn’t as sexy to me as a guy who comes home from work with dirt on his hands and a crappy attitude from his day. I’d much prefer the latter to the former because for one reason or another, I find it very sexy when a guy isn’t afraid to be a loser. I don’t want him to treat me with disrespect, but if he gets a little attitude with me every now and again, I’ll definitely be hooked.
  5. I’m not always ladylike myself. I’m the furthest thing from prim and proper, unless the occasion calls for it. I swear like a sailor and I’m not afraid to get in someone’s face if they’re doing something that warrants it. Being a mousy and meek woman isn’t my style, and generally that’s what’s equated with being ‘ladylike’. I may be feminine, but I’m not delicate enough to be with a true gentleman.
  6. I don’t want polite sex. Is it hot when a guy asks if he can kiss you before he does so? Not to me. I want a guy that is able to pick up my cues and take control in the bedroom. This, of course, is meant in terms of a consensual relationship, but I don’t want to be with a man that is afraid to go for what he wants with me because he’s too busy being polite.
  7. It’s the little things that count for me. Being showered with lavish gifts and flowers may sound nice, but it’s just stuff. And I couldn’t care less about it. I want a man who’s romantic by accident. And only a guy who’s rough around the edges would be able to pull that off. Holding my hand while we watch a sad movie or stroking my hair as I slowly pass out on his chest is romantic enough for me, and it means more than any roses could.
  8. I don’t need to be courted in the old-fashioned sense. I’m the type of girl that thinks Netflix and Chill is a real date, and I don’t need to be wined and dined to fall for a guy. It’s fun to go out together on dates, don’t get me wrong, but I equate effort with the amount of quality time spent together. And quality time doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg or mimic some sort of cheesy rom-com. When a gentleman is thrown into the mix, he tends to feel as though that’s what a girl needs.
  9. Being rough around the edges doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. Just because someone isn’t everyone’s idea of a perfect gentleman doesn’t mean he’ll treat girls with disrespect. He could be crude, sometimes immature, and even appear to be a ‘loser’ and he could still be the most loving boyfriend I’ll ever have.
  10. His ungentlemanlike quirks are what’s going to make me fall for him. I love the type of guy that is adorable, but not necessarily the hottest guy around — the one with a weird sense of humor and a fondness for cursing. All those things that cause him to lose any gentleman status are going to be what I absolutely adore about him.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.