It’s smart to be cautious when you meet a new guy. After all, you don’t want to go all-in before you’re sure he’s worth your time AND that he’s on the same page. However, you shouldn’t have to censor or shut down your emotions if you really like him because you’re afraid of being hurt or rejected. Is catching feelings really so bad? Here’s why I think not:
- NOT EVERYONE IS OUT TO HURT YOU. Contrary to popular belief, not all men are bad people. In fact, most of them aren’t. Being so quick to dread a connection with someone says that you’re probably still wounded from someone in the past. You have to get over that heartbreak and be optimistic that there are some awesome people out there who are worth falling for.
- YOUR PAST DOESN’T DEFINE YOUR FUTURE. If you got hurt by someone, of course it’s going to affect your next relationship—but it doesn’t have to define your whole dating life. If you’re really that worried about catching feelings for someone new, you’re still letting that sour experience control your life, and you deserve better than that.
- IT’S TOTALLY NATURAL. When you like someone, you feel emotion—it’s not like you have a disease or something. That’s human. It’d be more concerning if you feel nothing at all or were actually immune to connecting with people. Repeat after me: there’s nothing wrong or unnatural about accepting how you feel, or with feeling it in the first place.
- IT MEANS SOMETHING CLICKS. Obviously, if you’re starting to get feelings for someone, something is clicking between the both of you. If he’s feeling the same, he’s probably dealing with similar doubts, questions, and hesitations as you. Fine, he might not be “The One” just because you like him, but it’s definitely worth exploring.
- IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW. Just because your heart beats faster when he comes around doesn’t mean that you have to run off and marry him. Being into one guy doesn’t mean you can never be into another. Chill out, ladies, it’s not that serious.
- It’s not cool to be emotion-less. Okay so maybe the dread of catching feelings is more about the potential for heartbreak, but it doesn’t really matter. Never, ever stop feeling emotions in your life. Beyond your relationships, deciding you don’t want to feel anything cuts off your passion and purpose in life. Don’t do that to yourself. Being open to love and giving it back is one of the greatest things about being alive.
- BEING UNEMOTIONAL MAKES RELATIONSHIPS DIFFICULT. Blocking out how you feel about people actually ends up giving you more problems in your relationships. Why would you want to keep yourself from love because you refuse to feel real emotion for people? Putting up all these walls cuts off communication with the people you love and makes getting through the hard times so much more complicated than it needs to be.
- Shutting people out will ensure you end up lonely and alone. It seems like most of the time you’re putting up walls, the guy hasn’t actually done anything to deserve it. How can we always be complaining about how we want more effort from guys and when they rise to the occasion, we dread actually opening up and letting them in? See how ridiculous that sounds? Don’t project your negative feelings for someone else onto a guy who genuinely likes you.
- You’re in control of your emotions. Okay so you caught all the feels for a guy you know is wrong for you. So what? You still have the option to get out and move on. You should absolutely acknowledge your feelings, but you don’t have to end up in worse heartbreak by following every emotion your heart gives you. At the end of the day, you’re in control of your own emotions and how you handle them.
- FINDING REAL LOVE TAKES RISK. Real love isn’t something that will randomly break down all of your walls to whisk you away to your happily ever after. Real love is raw sometimes and to find it, you have to go all in. If you want to end up in a passionate, loving relationship someday, you’re probably going to go through some heartbreak to get there. Hell, that person you’re waiting for is going to break your heart from time to time and you’re going to have to work through it. Love with no emotional risk is going to burn out quickly—get used to loving the highs and lows and feeling with your whole heart.
