What’s The ‘No Contact’ Rule And Why Is It So Important Post-Breakup?

The “no-contact” rule is the gold standard of breakups for a reason. If you want to get over your ex, it’s vital that you don’t talk to, text, call, or make any contact with them for a long time, if ever. It’s done. It’s over, and there’s no turning back. Here’s why even though it’s hard, it’s important that you cut your previous partner out of your life, no questions asked.

You can sit with your feelings.

Ever tried to get over an ex while they’re constantly in your face? Yeah, it’s impossible. By breaking contact with them, you get more time to yourself without any distractions in the form of random messages. This means you can properly heal by working through your feelings.

You throw out rose-tinted glasses.

Breakups are weird in the way that they can suddenly make you remember all the good things about your ex even though they were always getting on your nerves when you were together. After a breakup, you’ll see their IG post about their workout routine and find yourself (strangely) missing them. By breaking contact, which includes deleting them on your socials, you won’t get swayed by the good times.

You can see clearly.

If they’re not always hovering around, you can start to see what you really thought and felt when you were with the person. It’s easy to stop taking stock of your thoughts and feelings when you’re with someone. When you find yourself out of the relationship, you’ll be seeing what happened objectively, which will help you to move on for good.

You remove temptation.

It’s easy to think you should quickly call or text your ex just to see how they’re doing when they’re always texting you or appearing on your FB newsfeed. By not having them around in a virtual way, you’ll prevent yourself from going down the route of post-breakup sex or thinking that you still love them.

You cut out the hope.

Similar to the above, it’s easy to think you guys will get back together if you’re always messaging each other. It’s like almost being a couple again because you’re talking so much… only that you’re not. WTF? It will mess with your head, then they’ll start saying nice things and you’ll think that you’re going to have a relationship sequel. It’ll hold you back in life and you don’t need that.

You only become friends when you mean it.

It’s not easy to jump straight into a friendship after being in a relationship. Sometimes it never becomes easy, so that’s a sign you shouldn’t do it. But you might fall into a friendship with your ex because you don’t want to be the nasty person who not only broke their heart but denied them a friend. Instead of prioritizing them, make your needs a priority! You broke up with them but you don’t have to become friends right away (or ever). Having some no-contact time will help you figure out if you really want to be pals or not.

You avoid being friends with benefits.

If you’re not getting friendly with each other, you won’t risk becoming friends with benefits. Honestly, if you’re not even sure you want to be friends right now, you certainly shouldn’t think that having regular sex with the person is going to make you happy. It won’t.

You can reconnect with who you are.

You might’ve been a different person before your relationship, or maybe you lost yourself during your relationship. Now’s the time to think about who you are without the relationship in your life, what you really want, and where you want to go. Don’t let your ex’s stupid texts pull you away from that.

You avoid comfort.

You might’ve read that and thought, “Wait, what?” It’s comfortable to stick to what you know, and in this case you’ll feel comfortable going back to the status quo of daily texting with your ex. It makes you feel less stressed about moving on without them, but that’s an illusion you don’t need. No contact might mean no comfort for a while, but it’ll be so much more rewarding.

You avoid their issues.

One of the best reasons why the no-contact rule is genius: it keeps your ex away from you. They don’t drunk text you on a Friday night or when they’re lonely and they don’t ask you a ton of questions about why you walked away (to guilt you into taking them back). You can make a clean, beautiful break without him trying to weigh you down or make you think they’ve changed. In all likelihood, they haven’t.

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