When You’re Finally In A Solid, Secure Relationship, These Things Will Happen

Everyone knows it’s important to have self-confidence, but what about relationship confidence? How you feel in and about your relationship is important to the success of it, so what does it really mean to feel secure with your guy?

  1. You’re not worried he’d leave you. A woman who’s insecure in her relationship is constantly worried about when that relationship is going to end. When will he leave? It’s not an “if,” it’s a “when” because you firmly believe (or at least obsessively fear) that at some point it will happen. A secure woman is looking forward to a future together, not constantly afraid that future will be apart.
  2. It takes a lot to make you jealous. You care about your partner and you obviously want him to be faithful, but at the end of the day, you trust him. Seeing him talk to another woman or even have female friends isn’t going to tick your jealousy radar. No matter what, you know that he only has eyes for you and that’s why it takes a hell of a lot to make you jealous.
  3. You’re not afraid to say how you feel. When you’re angry, you let him know. Women who are insecure in their relationships hide their feelings because they’re afraid of how their partner will react. Your feelings shouldn’t be about him, though. They’re about you. If you’re fully secure in your relationship, you’ll never be scared to admit just how happy, sad or angry you are, because you know no matter what, he’ll love you anyway.
  4. You’re confident in your love for him. Your love for him doesn’t waiver. You don’t wonder if your love for him is real or if it’s just lust gone into overdrive. At the end of the day, you know you love the man lying next to you and when you say those three precious words, not a single part of you worries that it’s anything but the truth.
  5. You don’t have to snoop through his things. In fact, you don’t even feel the need. Insecure women might need to check up on their partners, but you don’t because no matter what you know he doesn’t have anything to hide. Your security in the fact that he loves you allows you to trust him with his privacy, and that’s exactly how a healthy relationship should be.
  6. You don’t worry every fight might be your last. Just because you’re in a secure and healthy relationship doesn’t mean you won’t ever fight. You’ll disagree just like all couples, but at no point are you worried that this is the end. You know that even if you can’t find a compromise, you’ll at least agree to disagree.
  7. You trust him when he says he loves you. Those three little words are sacred, and men who say them but don’t mean them are the definition of losers. When you’re in a secure relationship, though, you don’t have to doubt his love. He says those magical words and you don’t have to wonder if they’re true. You know they are because he shows how much he loves you every single day.
  8. He makes you feel safe. In his arms, you have no worries. You don’t worry that he’s here one day but might be gone the next. He makes you feel completely safe and secure in the relationship because this is a love of permanence. There is nothing temporary about the two of you and at the end of the day, you know that when you’re lying next to him you’re exactly where you should be.
  9. You don’t have anything to prove. You don’t need to obsessively brag about your relationship on social media. You don’t care what other people think because what the only opinions that matter are yours and your partner’s. Sure, you might post a picture every once in a while, but you don’t need to shove it down anyone’s throat. Instead of photoshopping your life to look good, you’re enjoying how good it is in reality.
  10. You’re not afraid to be vulnerable. If you’re secure in your relationship then you won’t be afraid to open up to your partner. You can trust him with your deepest darkest secrets and the best part is that you know he’ll love you anyway. You’ve made mistakes, had your heart broken, and your family has issues just like every other family, but you share it all with your partner. He knows you inside and out and that’s why you can be vulnerable.
  11. You trust your partner completely. Feeling secure in your relationship is directly related to trust. You can’t have one without the other. If you trust your partner completely then you would have no reason to feel insecure about the relationship. At the end of the day, having a sense of security is all about having a partner you can trust with your life, and there is nothing better than that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.