When Finding Love Feels Impossible, Remember These Important Things

Finding true love can often feel like an impossible feat. We all want to be loved. We all want to find our person. We all want to have that incredible, beautiful, fairytale story and live happily ever after. The journey to get there, however, can be so difficult and a complete roller coaster of emotions. Here’s what you need to remember if you feel like finding true love is impossible and never going to happen for you.

  1. Great things take time. Just because you didn’t meet your soulmate in middle school, high school, or even college does not mean that there’s no hope for you. True love and amazing relationships take time. It can take years of you doing work on yourself to figure out what it is that you want, what you need from a relationship, and what that perfect relationship looks like for you. You don’t want to ever settle in love. Not ever and especially when thinking about the rest of your life. As hard as it is to be patient remember that good things take time.
  2. Diamonds are usually found in the rough. I know it’s hard to hold out hope for ‘the one’ when you meet a bunch of jerks one right after the other. Unfortunately, there’s more bad people out there than good ones. You’re going to have to kiss some frogs before you find your true love. It can be discouraging to out yourself out there and keep taking chances on love when you keep meeting losers. Don’t give up. Don’t think it’s a pointless task. Your person will be the diamond in the rough and it’ll make that much more worth it once you find them.
  3. You have to love yourself first. Remember how important it is to love and accept yourself before you can give love to another person. If you don’t love yourself and you jump into a relationship with someone, you are far more likely to settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you, accept treatment that you don’t deserve, and let things slide that you shouldn’t. Don’t put yourself through that. Focus on learning how to love and truly accept yourself the way you would want a partner to before your start trying to date.
  4. Everyone’s love story is different. One of the worst things you can do to yourself is compare your life to someone else’s. Don’t let the fact that your friend met their soulmate when they were a teenager and had this young love story that grew into a perfect life make you think that you won’t find your person. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter how many relationships you’ve been in. It doesn’t matter what anyone else around you’s story is. Everyone’s story is different. Don’t compare yourself and don’t focus on anyone but yourself. Your story will be beautiful too.
  5. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s just no point in blaming yourself or being hard on yourself about the fact that you haven’t found true love yet. Don’t think that there’s something wrong with you or that you’re meant to be alone because love hasn’t worked out for you yet. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend that was going through the same thing as you. You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t met your person yet.
  6. You are worthy of real love. You deserve true love just as much as anyone else does. You deserve to fall hopelessly in love with someone and to have your own fairy tale ending. You deserve it and you WILL find it. You’re going to find the perfect person for you and you’re going to have that incredible story that you’ve been dreaming of. Just because it hasn’t worked out in the past and you haven’t gotten that sweet story yet doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. You’re worthy of it and it will happen when the time is right.
  7. Being single is not a crime. Never be ashamed of this season of singleness. Sometimes, being single and having a relationship with just yourself can be the best possible thing for you. You should feel confident in being single and take the time to truly learn yourself and become the person that you want to be so that you can one day be the kind of partner that you want to be. There’s nothing wrong with being single and you should never feel ashamed of it. Own it.
  8. Don’t listen to your self-doubt. Don’t listen to the voice in your head that is telling you that you won’t find what you’re looking for or that you should just settle for crumbs because you don’t want to end up alone forever. That’s simply just your insecurity and self-doubt playing tricks on you. Don’t let those fears manipulate you into accepting a life or a relationship that you don’t want. Stay confident and hopeful for the future.
  9. They’re looking for you too. You’re out there looking for the person who will fill your soul but they’re out there looking for you too. Rest easy knowing that somewhere out there in the world someone else is wondering when they’re ever going to meet their person. They’re also struggling like you are and fighting the thoughts of self-doubt and the fear. They’re working on themselves and striving to be a better person so that they can be an amazing partner one day and they’re doing all of that for you. The day the two of you connect will be an incredible moment and you’ll just know.
  10. What’s meant to be will be. Destiny always finds a way to work itself out. Relax a little knowing that your destiny is going to happen. What’s mean to be will be and you won’t have to chase it, force it, or manipulate it. You’ll know when it’s the right time and the right person because you’ll feel it in your bones and your heart will tell you. It might look a little different than how you originally imagined it but you won’t even care. Just because finding love feels impossible right now, it always finds a way. Try to be patient.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.