When The Honeymoon Phase Ends, I’m Over The Relationship

The first three months of the relationship are basically the best part of the whole thing. Both parties are on their best behavior and there’s almost no fighting or awkward conflict involved. If I could, I’d spend the rest of my life in relationships that end after the honeymoon period is over and never deal with the messiness of long-term relationships ever again.

  1. I’m addicted to the rush of new love. It’s actually been proven that humans release a certain type of dopamine when we fall in love, causing us to get addicted to the other person. This gets even more intense if you have sex right away—you become hooked on each other. I don’t care if it’s all just caused by a chemical, I love that feeling. There’s nothing like that burst of dopamine when you lock eyes for the first time.
  2. People inevitably get bored of each other, so why fight it? I’m sure that even couples who have been together for 20 years and claim to be happy are kinda bored with each other, right? I mean, you can only discover so much about someone until you have them all figured out… and then start hating them (or at least wishing you were with someone else).
  3. Staying together is only a good thing when you’re actually happy. I catch myself getting a little jealous of couples that I know have been together for years, but who knows if they’re actually happy? People put so much importance on staying together but honestly, I’d rather be with someone for a few months and have the time of my life than stay with someone for over a decade and be miserable. 
  4. I believe that if you’re meant to stay together, you will. I know a lot of people who force themselves into long-term relationships and then end up resenting each other. If you grow apart, you grow apart. You can’t really control how another person feels about you. Things change, people change, feelings change. It’s just the way life goes.
  5. Once you start telling each other your secrets, it kinda ruins the magic. In the first few months of a relationship, your partner seems like a saint. Why is that? I think it’s because after a while, you start to run out of surface-level stuff to talk about and begin to tell each other the deeper, more secretive stuff about yourself. You start to feel responsible for each other and so the co-dependency begins. 
  6. I always get the feeling that the grass is greener with someone else. I get kinda restless when I’ve been in a relationship for too long. After the three month mark, I’m usually ready to try out someone else. To me, it’s more exciting to date someone new than to build a long-lasting relationship. Quite frankly, that sounds like a snooze-fest. 
  7. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a long-term relationship because I’m afraid to have one. Everything about being in a long-term relationship scares me. I’m not good at being vulnerable and I have a really hard time trusting people with my secrets. I’m totally fine with getting to know someone, but once we get into the deeper stuff, I freeze. 
  8. I don’t want people asking me if we’re going to get married. The prospect of marrying someone is scary as hell to me, which is why I don’t usually let my relationships go on for too long. I wouldn’t want my family to start thinking that I want to marry this person. That’s just embarrassing.
  9. I don’t do well with conflict. Maintaining a relationship usually involves conflict resolution. I don’t usually stay in relationships long enough to have a first fight. In fact, I’ve never fought with a partner, not even as a joke. I figure the longer I stay in a relationship, the more likely I’ll have to deal with stuff like that, and that’s not something I ever want to be faced with.
  10. I’m an idealist and freak out when my relationships don’t seem perfect. The beginning phase of relationships are perfect and that’s what I want my relationships to look like. It would be too much of a headache to have to trudge through a long-term relationship, trying to make the other person happy. If I had the choice of being in a long-term relationship and being single, I’d pick being single. 
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.