When You Love Yourself, This Is The Love You’ll Get

There’s an old saying that you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. That’s true, but without self-love, it’s also impossible to get the love that you deserve from others. When you reach that point of self-love, this is the amazing love you can expect to attract into your life.

  1. You’ll be with someone who respects your boundaries. You know what they say: you teach others how to treat you. If people can see that you love and respect yourself enough to have boundaries in your life, then they’ll behave accordingly. They’ll know that they can’t push their luck with you because you’re not a doormat.
  2. You’ll be loved for your amazing traits. When you love yourself, you’re also equipped with greater self-knowledge. You know why you’re a catch! The benefit of this when dating is that you’ll expect others to see those traits of yours. You’ll flaunt them instead of making excuses for them, and this can help you to attract a person who will also see and love you for you.
  3. You’ll be able to speak your mind. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t feel confident enough to share what’s on your mind, such as out of fear that other people will criticize and judge you for what you think and feel. When you back yourself up, you teach people to do the same.
  4. You don’t depend on others’ opinions of you. Linked to the above is how loving yourself makes you know your own worth. You don’t wait for your partner to tell you that you’re beautiful/smart/ambitious. You know these things about yourself, which is empowering because it means you’re not relying on what others think of you. This can result in much healthier relationships.
  5. You aren’t choosing relationships out of fear. If you don’t love yourself but instead are trying to find people who will love you, that will make you choose relationships out of a fear of being alone. And we all know how badly those can turn out! On the other hand, if you love yourself, you’ll be more selective about what kind of relationship you allow into your life. This prevents you from settling.
  6. You’re complete. That whole “you complete me BS” is exactly that. If you don’t love yourself, it’s easy to try to find someone who validates you and makes you feel whole. But when you love yourself, you can enter into a relationship feeling like a complete person with her own mind, goals, dreams, thoughts, and needs. You’re not just someone when someone falls in love with you.
  7. You don’t need a relationship to define you. The beauty about loving yourself is that you know what you have to offer so you won’t put up with anyone who violates your boundaries or isn’t right for you. You know that you’re fine with or without a relationship because it doesn’t define you. This not only makes your relationships healthy but it makes you strong.
  8. You don’t become a human yo-yo. When you know who you are and you love yourself, you won’t allow someone to throw you up and down depending on their moods and their drama that they’re dumping on your doorstep. So, if your partner is moody or treating you badly, you’re not going to let that throw you or make you feel like you’re worthless.
  9. You follow your intuition. Loving yourself means doing what’s right for you. If you’re in tune with your inner self, you will be able to follow your gut and do what’s best for you, no matter what. This prevents you from entering into relationships in which you could neglect or lose yourself. It also means that right from the start of a relationship, you’re listening to your inner voice as it guides you towards what you want.
  10. You make yourself a priority. When you know the value you bring to the table, you also know that you won’t sacrifice your needs for the sake of your relationship. This prevents you from becoming a martyr who puts her needs on the back-burner because you know doing that won’t make you live a happy life. You know what you deserve and you won’t settle for anything less than that or become a people-pleaser.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.