I Used To Whine About Being Single But Then I Got A Grip & A Life And Moved On

I’ve been single for a LONG time and for a while, it was a relief to be able to vent about it to my friends. But now that I’ve been in this boat for over a year, I’m sick of talking about my relationship status (or lack thereof).

  1. It’s time to take action. The fact that I’m so sick and tired of even talking about my single life is, in my opinion, a huge sign that it’s time to DO SOMETHING about it. I should be making moves, getting on a dating app, and taking charge of my destiny! If not now, when? I can’t even bear to hear myself complain anymore and I used to thrive on it, so clearly it’s time for my single life to come to an end.
  2. It doesn’t even feel like a problem anymore—it’s just the way my life is. Perhaps the reason I can’t even talk about it anymore is that a part of me has accepted my single status as just the way my life is right now. I don’t feel inspired to rag on all the bad dates I’ve been on because it’s just the way things are meant to play out for me. That’s kind of depressing, isn’t it?
  3. My friends are starting to roll their eyes. They feel like they’ve done all that they can to help me get out of my prolonged single rut and I don’t seem to be taking any more of their advice. People get annoyed after awhile when they’ve done all they can to make you feel better and to help you get out of a situation and you don’t even take them seriously. I don’t blame them for mentally checking out when I bring it up.
  4. I either start actively dating again or shut up about it forever. I’ve reached a point where I can do one of two things: start taking responsibility for my own happiness and actively look for a date or never mention my single status again and just keep living in loneliness. I choose the first option.
  5. There’s something deeper going on than just bad luck. If I’ve been single for this long, there’s gotta be a personal problem that I need to start figuring out. I’m not going to magically come to the deep-seated reason I fail so miserably at dating by complaining about it to my friends—this is gonna take some inner-work. Maybe I should stop talking about it like it’s this thing that’s happening to me and start thinking deeply about where the issue really stems from. Cough, childhood, cough.
  6. I don’t wanna be THAT girl. Even though girls in general enjoy talking about relationships and single life, I don’t wanna be the one who’s always going off on how much it sucks to be on my own. There’s a negative tone to my voice when I talk about dating, like I’ve been defeated. I’ve taken the fun out of singledom and I don’t wanna drag my friends along with me. It doesn’t have to be this way.
  7. It’s starting to get embarrassing, actually. When people ask me if I’m still single nowadays, I actually get embarrassed, believe it or not. I used to respond in a more lighthearted way and maybe make a joke but I can’t even bring myself to be positive about it anymore. I just feel this shame rise up in me and that’s how I know that I’ve reached the end of my rope. I need to get a grip.
  8. It was cute at first but now it’s just sad. It’s exciting to talk about being single when you’re fresh out of a relationship. You can’t wait to get back out there and celebrate being young and independent with your friends. It’s funny how quickly I lost hope in my future. It’s not fun or funny anymore, it’s just straight up sad.
  9. I think it’s a sign that I need to make a change. In a way, it’s kinda exciting that I’ve reached the end of my patience with being single because now I can start changing things and getting my life in order. Taking action at this time in my dating journey feels good and necessary to keep my hope alive. I have the power to activate change and I guess it took  getting sick of being single to get me there.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.