Why A “Good Guy” Isn’t Necessarily Good For YOU

All women are just looking for a good guy in the sea of cheaters, players, and commitment-phobes, right? The problem is, when your focus is solely on the finding a good guy, you’re more likely to ignore signs that he’s not the right guy. Of course, he’ll likely make another woman very happy, but there’s a difference between hooking up with a good guy and settling down with one that is actually good for you. Here’s where you’ll likely run into problems:

  1. He’s sweet, but he bores you to tears. We all want to do away with the liars and cheaters in our lives, but just because he’s open and honest and dotes on you doesn’t mean he makes your heart race, sadly.
  2. He’s so nice that he’s a pushover. You wouldn’t put up with anyone bossing you around, but he shouldn’t put up with it, either. You know sometimes you get a little crazy and you miss having someone who will put you in your place when necessary. Unfortunately, he’s not the guy to do it.
  3. He wouldn’t cheat, but you don’t love sleeping with him, either. Your man’s less-than-sexy tendencies might be keeping him close, but if it’s at the expense of your own sex life, what’s the point? It feels cruel to demand monogamy from him when you wish you were sleeping with other people, yourself.
  4. He doesn’t know how to take control. He’s so laid back sometimes, he’s horizontal. You just need him to make a snap decision, get a little frisky in the bedroom, or be a bad boy for a day.
  5. Your parents love him more than you do. Boy, does he pass every family test with flying colors. Sadly, you’re over there daydreaming about a different guy while he charms your pops.
  6. He plays it safe to an embarrassing degree. He’s got a daily routine and he sticks to it, no matter what. He’s not a risk-taker in any sense of the word, and it’s holding him – and your relationship – way back.
  7. He’s so calm, you’re starting to wonder if he’s a robot. Obviously fighting all the time isn’t an ideal scenario, but sometimes it feels like he doesn’t have any fire or passion at all. Who never gets mad?
  8. He probably wouldn’t care if you screwed him over. You almost want to rock the boat to see what would happen – or at least to ensure he’s a living and breathing human being.
  9. He’s completely oblivious to your unhappiness. He talks about settling down like he can actually picture it with you. Sure, he’d be the perfect dad, you’re just not sure you’re the mom. Being on different pages is a real thing, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of it.
  10. He has no sense of spontaneity. You think taking off for a weekend getaway to work on your photography sounds ideal, but he reminds you that someone has to be there to let in the cleaning lady. Ugh.
  11. He’s so good, it makes you mad. If someone’s reasonable behavior gets up under your skin and straight up pisses you off for no reason, then something deeper is going on.
  12. He’s always available to you 24/7. It’s not like you’re going to ask for space or anything, but does he have to be ready and waiting for you at every moment of the day?
  13. He’s perfect on paper, but not for you. You’ve tossed and turned many a night trying to figure out why you’re not crazy about this guy who’s so great. The simple answer is he’s just not for you.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com