Why A Guy Ignores Your Messages Even When You Can Clearly See He’s Online

The guy you’re dating hasn’t replied to your texts for a few hours but he’s online, either on social media or WhatsApp. Um, what’s really up with him? While you might feel a bit stalkerish to be checking up on him on social media to see if he’s around, you just can’t help it. If he can see that you’ve texted him and yet he’s still online, isn’t that blatant rudeness? Before you freak out, here’s what could be going on with him and if you can assume he’s trying to ignore you or walk away from your relationship.

  1. He’s already said goodnight. If you guys spoke earlier that evening and you ended your conversation, saying goodnight and deciding to chat the next day, he might still be online but that doesn’t mean he’s going to chat with you again. It might actually feel awkward for him to drop you a line again. It’s a bit like saying goodbye to friends after dinner, then calling them up again 10 minutes later.
  2. He’s busy with something else. He might be online but not actively ignoring you at all. He might not even realize you’re online because he’s chatting to someone else. It might even be a stressful chat he’s having with someone, so there’s no need to jump to conclusions just yet.
  3. He forgot to log off. If he was on WhatsApp, he might have forgotten to close the app so he’s viewed as “online” but not really there. Similarly, he might have been checking out social media but then totally forgot to log out. Now he’s asleep, dreaming like a baby, and you’re stressing about him ignoring you. Ugh, it’s just not worth it.
  4. He’s not even near his device. If he ignores your messages, maybe there’s an innocent explanation. It’s easy to imagine that he’s always looking at the screen of his device, but this can’t always be the case. In a similar way to how he might have forgotten to exit his apps, he might have left his device logged into messaging or social media apps but it’s physically in another room. This can happen, even if he’s always stuck to his phone, especially if he’s currently at work.
  5. He doesn’t want to talk. Okay, this might be a bit painful to swallow, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. He might just not be up for a chat with you right now. This could be because you guys have exhausted chatting for the day, or he’s busy with other chats, or he’s in a foul mood and doesn’t want you to see him like that. Of course, if you’ve sent the guy a message and he’s actively not responding to it, this could cause your blood pressure to spike, which is understandable. He ignores your messages because he just needs some quiet time. You understand, right?
  6. He doesn’t know what to say. If you’ve asked him a question and he hasn’t answered, maybe he’s taking some time to formulate his answer. This is especially what could be happening if you asked him something a bit emotional or complex. Give the guy a bit of time. He might also not be that great with online communication, preferring to chat about heavy topics in person. There’s no reason to freak out just yet.
  7. He’s licking his wounds. On the other hand, if you guys had a fight, he might be giving you the silent treatment ’cause he doesn’t want to talk RN. Ouch. He might be feeling pissed off, frustrated, or really sad. He just needs a bit of time to get over what happened. It’s sort of like if you had to be in the same house but you both want to take some time for yourselves before getting back to normal. You might be ready to get back to normal, but maybe he isn’t just yet.
  8. He has a different texting style. One of the reasons why he might not be replying to your message despite being online is that he has a different texting style to yours. While you might want to text daily or every second day at least, he might be fine with going for longer without making contact. That said, it’s never cool if you feel like you can never get hold of the guy.
  9. He’s not big on texting. Although he might be on social media a lot, he might not text that much. While that might sound mind-boggling, it’s like preferring one mode of communication over another. Remember, just because you’re on social media all the time, it doesn’t mean that you’re talking to tons of people. You might just be checking out the newsfeed. He might be doing the same thing. So, if you see that he’s on social media but not replying to your texts on WhatsApp, it doesn’t mean he’s dissing you.
  10. He’s actively ignoring you. If it happens regularly that the guy’s online but he ignores your messages, then you can start to assume that the guy wants to ignore you. He sees your messages pop up on his device, but he doesn’t want to make an effort to talk to you. While it’s good to ask him what’s going on, you might not even want to because if he’s doing this on the regular, he’s sending you a clear message.
  11. He’s not being empathetic. This is linked to the previous point. If you’ve sent him multiple messages but he’s not replying to them, even though you can see that he’s online a lot, he’s not just freezing you out but he doesn’t seem to think about how his actions are affecting you. He doesn’t stop and think that you might see him online and feel bad. His mind doesn’t even go there, so he simply doesn’t care about your feelings. To hell with him.

It’s infuriating when a guy ignores your messages, especially when you know he’s around. However, don’t let it drive you crazy!

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.