Mixed signals aren’t just confusing, they’re incredibly toxic. After all, indecision is a decision, and just because he can’t figure out how he feels about you or what he wants out of a relationship doesn’t mean you have to stick around for it. A guy who can’t decisively and happily choose you isn’t worth a place in your life – here’s why.
- You deserve to be number one. It’s a huge red flag if your partner starts to talk to their ex again or bring up old relationships. If he’s with you, why is he still talking to and about his previous partner? Sure, it’s one thing if they are friends or didn’t end badly, but remember to be careful. There’s a fine line between connection and keeping someone at a distance. If your partner is back talking to their ex regularly but insists it’s totally over between them, you need to run for the hills because odds are you will be hurt.
- You can’t put your life on hold for this guy. Let me guess: he constantly tells you he can’t wait to see you again but never makes plans, right? This is one of the most common mixed signals one can receive and one of the biggest doses of BS. You choose your priorities and ultimately make time for what you wish to make time for. Don’t let this common excuse get you down. If he wanted to be with you, he would be, end of.
- You’ll be giving way more than you get. A quality relationship will need effort on both parts. If your partner isn’t looking for the emotional connection then they most likely won’t open up. Sure, you can let him in all you want, but odds are it will always be one-sided. Why is he holding back so much? You can’t empty your tank on someone who has no intention of refilling it.
- You shouldn’t have to wonder where you stand. The bottom line is that if someone is really into you, they won’t be flirting with other people and he certainly wouldn’t be dating them. Many people see their partners doing this and turn a blind eye, which isn’t good in the long run. He says he likes you but he’s just “feeling things out” with other people? Nah, see ya.
- If he doesn’t want to define the relationship, that’s because there isn’t one. Having the “what are we?” conversation is a big milestone if you’re planning on being in a long-term relationship with someone. The transition that happens when going from friends to a possible “thing” to a couple is one that might make or break some. If you feel as though things are progressing and you attempt to bring up this conversation only to be shut down, it’s a huge red flag. Get out now.
- You’re better than being someone’s secret. So he’s all over you when you’re in private but when you go out in public together, he acts like he barely knows you? This is not a good thing. Even if he’s not into PDA, a guy who likes you wouldn’t shy away from all affection or even general closeness when you’re out in the world together. Leave him and find someone who’s worthy.
- Selfishness isn’t a caring quality. If the person you are with starts to not care about your feelings, then this isn’t a good sign. Why would you want to be with someone like this anyway? Actions speak much louder than words, so it’s best to not believe whatever he says about caring for you if his actions show differently.
- If he’s “not ready for a relationship” he should stop treating you like his girlfriend. Ugh. Ladies, this one is a big one. Is he not looking for a relationship but still calls you late in the evening for drinks, a movie, or a casual get-together, he’s toxic as hell. Yes, going out and having a no-pressure evening is great, but at the end of the day, it’s all to his advantage. You might be wanting a relationship but waiting for him to make the call, which he won’t. Stop waiting around and start going out with people who are ready to give you what you are looking for and find someone who knows your true value.