Why Am I Still Single? Possible Reasons And How To Change It

Why am I still single? If you’ve ever wondered this — and let’s be honest, who hasn’t after a few months of being on their own — but can’t seem to figure out why such a catch like yourself can’t find a boyfriend, listen up. I’m about to give you some home truths that you need to hear, absorb, and do something about if you ever want to find a relationship.

  1. You never leave the house. No shade! I know how much more appealing it is to lay on your couch binge-watching Succession and eating Oreos than it is to have to shower, get dressed in outside clothes, and actually leave the house. Going to the bar? In this weather? No thanks. However, if you always opt for creature comforts over, you know, actually putting yourself out there, you don’t really get to complain about being single. You’re partly to blame here!
  2. You’re too rigid with your standards. Everyone needs to have standards when it comes to dating. This keeps the toxic losers out of your life, and that’s vital. However, there is such a thing as being a bit too rigid with your standards to the point where you basically write off every guy without giving him a chance. Yes, swear off liars, players, and other outright losers. However, if you think a guy with red hair or one who works as a barista at Starbucks isn’t worthy of you, it’s no wonder you’re still single.
  3. You’re still hung up on your ex. You might think you’re hiding the fact that you’re still kinda into your ex or not over the BS he put you through, but you’re really not fooling anyone. Guys can smell that crap a mile away and it will immediately put them off you. If you start chatting to a guy and immediately start talking about how you and Steve used to go to such and such place or Mark always thought this beer was the best, you’re about to be left in the dust (and I honestly wouldn’t blame the new dude). Work through your issues before you start looking for someone new to date.
  4. You’re a pessimist when it comes to love. Yes, dating can suck and there are a lot of awful guys out there, but if you truly believe that all men are trash and all relationships end in heartbreak, why don’t you want to be single forever? Attitude is everything, and having a negative one will only work against you.
  5. Your flirting skills are nonexistent. You shouldn’t have to fall all over a guy to get a date, of course, but you do need to be willing and able to flirt to show your interest. It’s nearly 2022 and it’s not all down to men to make the first move. If you meet someone you like, do something about it! If you feel like flirting is desperate or you simply don’t know how to do it and you’re not interested in learning, you’re probably going to be on your own for a while.
  6. You go for the wrong types of guys. This is a very common reason that women stay single for so long. You’re attracted to guys who are clearly no good for you, meaning relationships with them never last and you inevitably end up rolling solo more often than not. While it’s important to have realistic expectations and standards, you do need to have them to weed out the bad guys. You know what kind of guys aren’t worthy of you, so don’t even go there.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill
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