Why Being Fearless In Love Might Be The Key To Finding It

From asking someone out to trusting them not to break your heart, the different milestones on the journey of love can be terrifying. Heck, falling in love itself is enough to scare a lot of people out there. But if you’re going to find a love that will bring you happiness and fulfillment, being fearless is key. Read on to find out why.

  1. It takes courage to ask someone out. It’s hard to find love without being fearless because so many of the crucial steps on the journey to love require courage. One of the most obvious is asking someone out. If you’ve ever had any experience with this, you’ll know it’s pretty daunting asking out someone you’re interested in, thanks to the risk of rejection. You can find love without ever taking that first step, but then you leave your love life in someone else’s hands and you lose your power. You’ve got more of a chance of getting what you want if you take control and make the first move, which takes courage.
  2. You don’t know what you want until you’ve experienced what you don’t want. Read that again. So many of us don’t know what we’re looking for in a relationship until we’ve dated a bunch of people who show us what we don’t want. It takes experience to gain that kind of clarity. And how do you obtain that experience? By putting yourself out there and dating widely, which can be pretty scary!
  3. Love may just be a numbers game. Some believe that love is a numbers game. The more people you date, the better your chances of finding love (although that doesn’t explain those who marry their first partner!). If love really is a numbers game, then you have to be in it to win it and give a lot of people chances. Again, that requires courage! You have to approach dating fearlessly if you hope to finally find the one who’s right for you. This is absolutely key.
  4. People crave vulnerability, not perfection. It takes lots of courage to be vulnerable. And contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is very endearing, even more so than perfection! If you pretend to be perfect all the time, your partner may find it difficult to form a real bond with you. But if you let your vulnerability show, which requires you to be fearless, you’re more likely to develop a real connection with that person.
  5. You have to throw yourself in to build a bond with someone. Getting into a relationship often means leaving your comfort zone. You will eventually get to a place where you do feel comfortable with that person. But building a bond with someone new can often be daunting.  If you don’t push yourself through that scary initial phase, you’ll never get to the intimacy and familiarity that follows.
  6. The future is unknown. One of the scariest parts of falling in love is putting your heart on the line, which is why it’s one of the key ways of actually finding it. Making a commitment to someone can be so daunting because you never know for certain what’s going to happen. People don’t enter relationships expecting to be hurt; the majority of people who were heartbroken took a chance and believed that they wouldn’t be hurt. It’s always terrifying to take a risk like that. But you have to put your heart on the line to get the kind of love back that you’re craving.
  7. Leaving a bad relationship is crucial to finding happiness. If you find yourself in an unhappy relationship, then leaving that relationship is the first step in finding happiness and ultimately finding love again. If you’ve ever had to leave a bad relationship, you’ll know that it’s one of the scariest things you’ll ever do, regardless of how long you’ve been together.
  8. You have to face the fear of love to find it. Our culture paints falling in love as everyone’s biggest goal. But many people secretly have a fear of falling in love, which can come down to several causes and factors. A lot of people who fear love fear losing themselves. They might also fear being intimate with another person, being abandoned, and the list goes on. Clearly, then, to find a loving relationship that will ultimately be fulfilled, you have to face fears like this. You have to be fearless when it comes to tearing down any limiting beliefs you have and pursue love anyway.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.